Crypto News

YZi Labs, helmed by the ever-astute Ella Zhang, is apparently “considering” the idea of shifting gears and transforming into an external-facing fund. It’s not quite ready to throw open the gates to eager investors just yet. Ella, the head honcho, told Asgari with all the seriousness of someone contemplating a second slice of cake, “There’s always a lot of external investors interested, and we will eventually consider turning it into an external-facing fund. We just think it’s not there yet.” In other words, hold your horses, folks-there’s more AI and biotech tinkering to be done before YZi Labs lets anyone else have a taste of the action. Patience, grasshopper. 🦗

Decentralized exchange (DEX) infrastructure provider Orderly Network introduced a platform for users to launch their own perpetuals DEXs. 🤡

Yes, you heard it right! While the corporate behemoths slurp electricity like it’s going out of style, these five Davids-operating outside the cozy confines of mining pools-each bagged over $350,000. A fluke? Perhaps. But oh, what a glorious fluke! 🎉

Shares of Semler Scientific (SMLR), now a tragic hero in the tale of financial folly, closed at $32.06, a price so low it might make a medieval monk weep. This is well below the implied $86.30 takeout value in its announced all-stock acquisition by Strive (ASST), a discount so profound it might make a philosopher weep, according to Benchmark analyst Mark Palmer, who sees both skepticism and opportunity in the emerging bitcoin treasury M&A wave. 🧠💸

In 2010, Bitcoin was worth a few cents. By 2011, it hit $20. Six years later, $17,000. Now, over $100K. A journey from obscurity to absurdity, where ROI of 188,643,000% sounds like a joke told by a drunk economist. 🤡

Before any valiant souls dare to plunge into the murky depths of altcoin trading, it is incumbent upon them to forecast, with all the precision of a weathered seer, the whims of Bitcoin’s direction in the forthcoming 48 hours. Presently, a scintilla of hope glimmers – $BTC appears to be conjuring a recovery from its recent veritable abyss. Yet, let not your heart be too light; the specter of further despair lurks, ready to shake loose those overly hopeful longs clinging to dreams of resurrection.

DOGE is holding firm at the $0.23 support level, which is like that stubborn last slice of pizza nobody admits belongs to them. A secondary cushion (read: “just in case”) sits at $0.20. Resistance-or the financial equivalent of a warding-off net-is at $0.31, and if DOGE busts through that, it might just sprint to $0.35-$0.38 faster than you can say “To the moon!”

Hours before the oracle of the Federal Reserve, Jerome Powell, takes the stage at 11:30 a.m. ET, the digital coffers of Bitcoin and Ether ETFs have been ransacked. Hundreds of millions have fled, like sparrows scattering before a storm. 🌪️💸 The mood? Risk-off, they say. But in this game of financial chess, the pawns are trembling, and the kings are hiding behind their rooks.

Hayes shared his bullish outlook during a media interview at the Blockchain Conference ‘KBW2025’ on September 23 at the Walkerhill Hotel in Seoul. He stated that an interesting market trend is likely to emerge between the end of the third quarter and the beginning of the fourth quarter. This could propel Bitcoin to $250,000. 🧩

And here’s the kicker: while EVERYTHING else was going down like a bad date, Binance’s own coin, BNB, was just… chillin’. Like, sipping a piña colada while the market burned. It was down, sure, just over 5%, but compared to the chaos? Practically a victory lap. And people *noticed*.