The Federal Reserve’s dovish stance (that’s fancy talk for “we’re chill for now”) might make riskier assets more tempting than a slice of cake at a diet convention. More capital could flow into crypto, especially Bitcoin-but whether this hype can push us to new heights, or if it’s just a clever mirage, remains a thrilling mystery. 🍰🤷♂️
The meme coin, once a darling of the internet, now breaks technical levels with the grace of a drunk at a ballet. 🩰🍷 Institutional-sized trades ruled Wednesday’s session, their cold logic drowning out ETF filing buzz. 📊🚀
Europol, those delightful continental crime-busters, announced on Dec. 4 that they’ve wrapped up a multi-year sting operation with more twists than a pretzel factory. The agency declared, with all the gravitas of a Shakespearean actor forgetting their lines: “We’ve dismantled a network so shady, it needed SPF 100 sunscreen. Over €700 million laundered? More like over €700 million floundered!” 🌞🧼
On-chain analytics firm Glassnode has released its Q4 2025 Digital Assets Report in collaboration with crypto investment firm Fasanara Digital, shedding light on how the market landscape has developed in the fourth quarter of 2025. Because nothing says “we’re serious” like a report that’s basically a love letter to Bitcoin. 💌
During November’s romp-let’s call it Wall Street’s unexpected post-party hangover-the Coinbase Premium Index fell into a quirky, mismatched tango with negative digits, showing a party of US spot buyers as only mildly interested in comparison to their offshore loving friends. As Bitcoin did the Twist back below $90k, the painful dip in the red of this index was a look that said, ‘Hold my drink, pal, while I make my escape.’
Oh, the Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection, with its letters and laws, scolded Robinhood Derivatives, KalshiEX LLC, and Crypto.com for peddling sports event contracts without licenses. “Sports wagering requires a license!” they cried, as if the very air of Connecticut should be taxed for such daring. 🏟️
In the last 24 hours, ETH has climbed around 4-5%, outperforming most large-cap cryptos and reclaiming a key psychological zone near $3,200. Market data shows rising volumes and a noticeable pickup in accumulation from larger holders, even as sentiment indicators still sit in “Fear” territory. Because nothing says “confidence” like a 10% drop in your portfolio. 😂
Issued by Hua Xia Financial Leasing (a subsidiary with all the romance of a Soviet-era commissar), these bonds offer a paltry 1.84% yield over three years. A pittance, you say? Ah, but it’s the principle that matters! 📜✨ Or perhaps the principle of eliminating middlemen who once feasted on the crumbs of financial revolution.
Adding to the renewed optimism, a new missive from the esteemed CryptoOnchain, in collaboration with CryptoQuant, unveils a most remarkable surge in XRP Ledger Velocity, marking one of the most robust on-chain signals of 2025. On December 2, the Velocity metric leapt to 0.0324, its highest value of the year. Velocity, that most discerning of metrics, measures how frequently XRP doth traverse the network, serving as a direct indicator of economic activity, liquidity, and transactional demand.
It’s official: a bridge between Coinbase’s Base and Solana is up and running! Now, developers and users alike can waltz assets from one ecosystem to the other. Think of it as a digital road that makes sure no crypto gets left behind.
