According to the ever-so-reliable Kobeissi Letter, the majority of these unfortunate souls found themselves in the unemployment line due to cutbacks in consumer-driven sectors such as leisure, hospitality, trade, and utilities. A grand total of 880K private sector jobs and a modest 31K public sector positions have been consigned to the annals of history. 📜
Now, the Bybit institutional crowd can trade away, waving collateral in the form of crypto and stablecoins, all held at Sygnum-no pockets, no socks, just digital vaults. Their balances are mirrored on the exchange in real time, presumably so no one feels left out at the party. Meanwhile, P&L is settled every eight hours, which is surely just long enough for one existential crisis, a cappuccino, and a nap.
It’s not just the financial markets that are being rewritten by crypto; it’s also the corporate growth playbook. Forget about the old-fashioned ways of making money-let’s just throw Bitcoin in the mix and see what happens!
Bitcoin, the venerable king of cryptocurrencies, currently trades at about $112,257, a figure that speaks of both strength and vulnerability. After weeks of retreating like a wounded lion, the chart now reveals a delicate upward pattern, yet the 50-day EMA at $114,547 looms like a shadow, a formidable barrier that the bulls must conquer. The volume, alas, has dwindled, a sign that confidence is waning, and uncertainty reigns supreme. The RSI, hovering near 48, offers no solace, for it suggests neither an overbought nor an oversold condition-merely a market in limbo.
XRP is tiptoeing around $2.95, like a cat eyeing a fishbowl. The descending triangle on the 12-hour chart has everyone holding their breath-or at least their memes. Horizontal support at $2.75 and a downward trendline since July have conspired to create this dramatic standoff. Analysts are practically frothing at the mouth predicting a breakout that could send XRP soaring to $3.60. But hey, if it fails, we might see it tumble back to $2.75 faster than you can say “HODL.” 🐱🏍📉
In a move that screams “desperate for relevance,” Cboe Global Markets has announced Continuous Futures contracts for bitcoin and ether. Because nothing says “stable investment” like betting on crypto prices a decade from now. 🚀 Trading starts Nov. 10-assuming the SEC doesn’t laugh them out of the room.
“By uniting Circle’s profound expertise in stablecoins with our robust institutional infrastructure, we bestow upon financial institutions the courage to innovate without fear. Those who dare to embark on this journey now shall not merely maintain their pace; they shall set the benchmark for the digital financial systems of tomorrow,” declared Michael Shaulov, the esteemed Co-founder and CEO of Fireblocks, with a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face. 😏
It comes amid a broader crackdown on crypto ATMs, with the FBI reporting nearly 11,000 complaints of fraud came from the kiosks in 2024, totaling over $246 million in losses. At least 13 states, including Arizona, Colorado and Michigan, have implemented transaction limits to reduce the potential impact of crypto ATM fraud. 🧠💸
Cboe, the derivatives exchange under the very serious-sounding Chicago Board Options Exchange, announced on a Tuesday-which clearly means it’s official-that these contracts are slated for launch on November 10. Of course, provided that regulatory overlords give the green light, because apparently, even the Wild West of crypto needs a chaperone.
Now, some people with far too much time on their hands (shoutout to Lookonchain and other “on-chain analytic tools” – seriously, a hobby!?) are tracking BlackRock’s every move. Apparently, they’ve noticed BlackRock dumping a significant amount of crypto onto Coinbase in the last couple of days. It’s like watching someone slowly realize they bought Beanie Babies in 1998.
