Crypto News

This historic move catapults New York into the crypto spotlight, making it the first city in the U.S. to establish a department *solely dedicated* to blockchain innovation, financial inclusion, and, you guessed it, crypto regulation. Adams’ grand vision? To crown NYC as the undisputed crypto capital of the world. A lofty goal, indeed, but it’s not like Adams to shy away from ambition. At this point, he’s practically the crypto mayor, earning that shiny new title with every block he adds to his empire.

According to the indefatigable Nikkei Asia, these parchments of parliamentary pandemonium are slated for 2026. The new lexicon decrees that trading with “privileged information” (a term we’re told is officially vaguer than a haiku about budget airlines) will now merit a cozy chat with the judiciary. One might as well be caught pilfering sushi rolls at a Michelin-starred izakaya-except the penalty could include fines, jail, or the ultimate humiliation: having to explain your crypto portfolio to a bureaucrat.

What a spectacle! A tsunami of forced liquidations has rattled the cryptocurrency realm, exposing the folly of excessive leverage in this digital playground. Galaxy, that doyen of digital assets and AI infrastructure, took to the social media stage on X (formerly known as Twitter, darling) on Oct. 13 to offer its pièce de résistance-an analysis of this financial fiasco. The selloff, they proclaim, was nothing short of a historic liquidation extravaganza.

Fink’s vision? Turn ETFs into digital tokens so crypto bros can finally feel like they’re investing in something *real*-like retirement funds. 🤑 Because nothing screams “long-term stability” like blockchain, right?

Global digital asset markets are regaining their composure after the largest liquidation event in crypto history, a most theatrical transition toward a more structurally mature ecosystem. The 21Shares Research Team noted that while the sharp selloff underscored flaws in centralized exchange mechanisms, it simultaneously showcased the robustness of decentralized infrastructure and the resilience of long-term holders. A most admirable display of fortitude! 🤹‍♂️

But hold onto your hats, because amid all the chaos, the industry’s stubborn little engine called resilience whispered, “This isn’t the end.” According to some crypto-whisperers at Bitfinex, the market’s still got some fight left in it, promising a potential October bounce. Or so they say, while nervously clutching their wallets.

In this vast gulag of crypto speculation, 76% of the hapless retail traders have shackled themselves long on Solana-a signal as bullish as a prisoner dreaming of amnesty in Stalin’s dreams.

ARKHAM ALERT: THE GREAT WHALE STIRS FROM ITS SLUMBER!

The $10B Hyperunit Whale, that enigmatic beast of the crypto seas, has begun to trim its shorts. A paltry $15 million closed, leaving a staggering $478M still afloat. Oh, the drama! It sits on an unrealized profit of $11.8 million-a crumb for such a titan. 🐳💤

YLDS offers SOFR minus 35 basis points (because why settle for normal interest rates when you can subtract 0.35% and call it “exclusive”?), backed by short-term treasuries. Per the Sui Foundation, it’s like a financial Swiss Army knife-but with more red tape. 🛠️

Introducing the “Together Initiative,” a $400 million “feel-good” fund to rescue anyone who got caught in the recent market tumble. Yes, right after the crypto market played a game of “how low can you go,” Binance is giving back-well, sort of. Maybe. $300 million worth of USDC vouchers will magically appear for users who got liquidated between October 10 and 11, 2025. Because nothing says “recovery” like a timestamp and a $50 minimum loss (don’t oversell it, folks – we’re just talking pocket change for some).