Crypto was used to move money across borders, settle trades and even fund political activity. This helped sanctioned groups keep operating but it still left a digital trail, which is about as subtle as a sledgehammer in a library. 🛠️📚
The ETF debuted like it owed the market child support, raking in $6 million in its first hour. Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas predicted a meager $2.5 million for the *whole day*. Guess what? He’s now eating humble pie for breakfast. 🥧💸
In a recent sermon to Kyle Chasse, our modern-day Cassandra cried:
Crypto mining firm Terawulf Inc. is preparing to raise approximately $3 billion to expand its data center footprint, according to CFO Patrick Fleury. The financing structure, supported by Google, reflects the growing convergence between crypto infrastructure and artificial intelligence (AI) demands.
Critics (aka anyone with two brain cells to rub together) say this is basically turning WhatsApp into the Stasi’s dream app. But sure, let’s sacrifice privacy for “security” – what could possibly go wrong? 🙄
As if by magic, major financial sorcerers, a.k.a. institutions, have unveiled their best spectator silks-ETF offerings, to be precise-soaking up optimism faster than a wayward vampire sponge at an all-you-can-drink hemoglobin party. Vanguard, the giant with assets of $10 trillion, heralded its digital age with the announcement of launching crypto ETFs. This could make BlackRock seem like the last unicorn paddling in the Tranquil Pool of Ethereum Old.
The last encounter, dear reader, where spot Ether (ETH) ETFs saw their congregation diminish day by agonizing day, was in that archaic week terminating on Sep. 5, when Ether was poised gallantly near $4,300. Today, it fares woefully at $4,013, as perchance a sly market trickster sketched out by CoinMarketCap.
Crypto ETFs, you see, are supposed to be the golden ticket for folks who’ve never touched a blockchain in their life. But Philion? He’s got a different take. “Ain’t gonna last,” he cackles. Why? Because the grumpy old boomers and Gen X’ers-who own all the money-still think finance is a box of chocolates. Meanwhile, the kids today? They’d sooner hold their cash on a blockchain than trust a middleman. It’s like trying to teach a cat to fetch. 🐾
While Tether and other stablecoins continue to expand, analysts warn that rapid adoption carries financial risks, particularly to central banks’ ability to control interest rates and maintain exchange rate stability. 🤯💸
It may descend by another 11% should it fail to cling to the sacred 3,900, lest the coins stage a further bow and exit stage left. 😅
