Crypto News

The documentation, released like a sacred text upon GitHub, speaks of a Router and a Slab-a duality as old as civilization itself. The Router, a guardian of collateral and margins, while the Slab, a matching engine, thrives under the watchful eyes of liquidity providers. Yet, in this design, there is both promise and peril: a single slab’s failure may not taint the whole, yet the weight of its independence looms heavy, like a shadow cast by a dying star.

It’s been a rough year for Bitcoin, folks. With a modest 15.6% increase, it barely outperformed a rather lethargic S&P 500, which is up 14.5%. A real triumph when you consider that the S&P’s market cap is $57.4 trillion (yes, trillion) – roughly 27 times larger than Bitcoin’s. Yet, in a shocking twist, Bitcoin has managed to sigh along with the index like that friend who gets invited to parties but brings nothing to the table. 🙄

The Bank of England, in a display of unprecedented urgency, apparently intends to craft some rules around stablecoins by the end of 2026. Yes, you read that right-2026! Just in time for the next decade of crypto chaos. According to an anonymous Bloomberg report, a consultation begins on Nov. 10. Because why start early when you can start fashionably late? 🕰️

Solana, dear reader, had briefly donned the crown of $200, joining Bitcoin and Ethereum in their gilded folly. But the bears, those sly foxes, arrived with their pitchforks and dragged the price back down to earth-past $200, $182, and all the way to the chilly $174 low. A feeble recovery attempt? Naturally. It climbed to the 50% Fib retracement, only to find the bears still lurking, sipping tea and guarding the 61.8% Fib like a pack of overzealous footmen.

So, Polygon’s co-founder, Sandeep Nailwal, is losing his patience. He’s been loyal to Ethereum for years but says the Ethereum Foundation has given them zero love. Yep, despite Polygon being a major player in scaling Ethereum. Talk about being the cool cousin who’s always left out of family photos! 😒

In what could be described as an almost Shakespearean turn of events, the price of XRP, after a particularly dramatic plunge, had investors bracing themselves for further misery. “Sell at a loss!” they cried, ever hopeful that the price would plummet like a lead balloon. And yet-hold onto your monocle-the token did precisely the opposite. It surged. Surpassed the $2.5 mark. For the first time in more than a week! A week, mind you! Who could have predicted such audacity? 💸

Ah, the sweet scent of de-dollarization! Russia, that indefatigable rogue of the global stage, has pivoted with the grace of a ballet dancer on vodka, shifting nearly all its trade settlements with China and India into their respective currencies. Deputy Prime Minister Alexander Novak, a man whose name sounds like a forgotten character from Brideshead Revisited, revealed this on October 20th. The dollar, once the hegemonic darling of international finance, is now as passé as a monocle at a tech conference.

Ethereum tried to “get cute” above $3,800, like a desperate Tinder profile. It hit $3,880, $3,980, and even flirted with the 50% Fib retracement. But the bears? Total players. They shut it down at $4,080 like a parent confiscating a glow stick. 👩‍🏫

Bitcoin’s recent nosedive-down to a pitiful $104,000-was, according to Glassnode, merely a “flush, not a failure.” How poetic. Like a clogged toilet, the market needed a good plunging. Futures open interest? Down. Funding rates? Cratered. ETF flows? Neutral, like a bored bureaucrat. Traders are realizing losses, not capitulating-because why admit defeat when you can just suffer quietly?