Bitcoin spiked above $94,000 like a caffeinated squirrel on roller skates 🐿️💸 and then promptly face-planted as Fed Chair Jerome Powell delivered a masterclass in fence-sitting. The man could make a waffle iron feel decisive.
Just days after Yi He ascended to co-CEO, the villains struck with the timing of a well-rehearsed symphony. This allowed the deceitful posts to masquerade as wise counsel from a crypto oracle. Poor Yi He, now the accidental spokesperson for a token that probably smells like burnt toast and regret, had to explain on X (formerly Twitter) that her account had been “abandoned long ago” and was now “seized for use.” One wonders if the hackers sent her a thank-you note for the free advertising.
With the media’s “hawkish” framing of the cut, Bitcoin’s price action now resembles a toddler refusing to leave the playground: it may sell on the news but will likely remain trapped in a range until someone invents a new momentum driver, probably involving glitter and self-driving cars. 🚗✨
This is the third consecutive cut of this year. It brings the target federal funds rate down to around 3.50 %-3.75 %. A rate so low, it’s practically a discount on existential dread. 🤯
Today XRP lingers near $2.06, nudging upward by 0.43% as if shyly testing its strength. The market hums with more than $4 billion in trading volume, a chorus of retail dreamers and tireless algorithms weaving their fates together. XRP hovers just above that psychological $2 threshold – a thin line between hope and hesitation.
Beyond staking, the partnership has unveiled a secret portal for remittances. TRON, the heavyweight of stablecoin sorcery, processes mountains of daily transfers. Revolut plans to ride this magical wave for lightning-fast, low-cost cross-border spells. 🌟⚡
Les grandes têtes, du genre Donald Trump (oui, le même qui aime jouer au président), donnent du miel aux peuplades pour qu’elles osent enfin voir Bitcoin comme leur coffre-fort stratégique. Ah, la politique! Toujours un spectacle captivant! 🎭🗳️
These “records,” you ask? Ah, they whisper of a grand masquerade beneath the surface: operations, transactions, and a TVL that might just rival the Queen’s tea budget. One must wonder if the market is simply waiting for an invitation to the ball. 💸
The CME FedWatch oracle declares an 89.9% chance of a rate trim, while Polymarket, ever the dramatist, raises the stakes to 97%. Yet, beneath these numbers lies a comedy of errors-a policy rift as wide as a Russian steppe. Some FOMC members coo like doves, pleading for easing, while the hawks screech, fearing inflation’s ghost might rise again. 👻
