U.S.-listed miners, who are always flashing their shiny hardware, now account for roughly 38% of everything, everywhere. The total computational army involved in powering up the Bitcoin universe took a tiny step back-probably tired from all that recent record-smashing.
The move could trigger bigger real-asset rotation into BSC, positioning BNB ahead of other L1s in both price and fundamentals. *Or it could be a very expensive game of hot potato.* 🧨
Aster (ASTR) seems to’ve caught its second wind, bouncing off $1.20 like a rubber ball in a bounce house. Twice it kissed that support level, and twice it sprang back up-textbook double-bottom, the sort that makes traders whisper, “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!”
Deutscher, bless his questionable judgment, argues Bitcoin is the “asymmetric wager.” Oh, how thrilling! While gold has been busy flexing its 105% year-to-date gains (since March, mind you), Bitcoin has been sipping tea and whispering, “I’m just here for the long game.” But let’s be honest, Bitcoin thrives on chaos like a toddler in a candy store. Gold, on the other hand, is the polite guest who brings a casserole and never asks questions. One’s a wild goose chase, the other’s a “safe” haven. How *boring*.
In this absurd theater of digital despair, Zcash and Dash emerge as unlikely heroes, shattering years of chain-gang despond, heralding a so-called “privacy revival” amid the rubble of post-crash liquidation-oh, the irony of progress in captivity! 😏
In the quiet hum of the digital age, Elon Musk reignited the DOGE flame by declaring it an “energy-based currency,” as if Bitcoin’s proof-of-work and a Shiba Inu’s wag were twin pillars of cosmic truth. One might think he’s auditioning for a role in a sci-fi parody.
Enter Mr. Carmelo Alemán, the crypto oracle with a penchant for dismantling hyperbole. “Leverage,” he declared with the gravitas of a man explaining why his parrot won’t stop quoting Nietzsche, “magnifies both gains and losses. Like a poorly chosen accessory, it can elevate or utterly ruin an ensemble.” The $19 billion figure, he clarified, is the nominal value of bets-akin to declaring your entire wardrobe lost because your hat blew away in the wind. The true losses? A paltry $2.31 billion. Tragic, yes, but hardly worth a standing ovation.
Moreover, I would urge Coinbase to list more @BNBChain projects. @Binance has listed several Base projects. Don’t think Coinbase has listed a single @BNBChain project yet. And it’s a more active chain. Ah, the sweet scent of hypocrisy! 🍿
Ethereum recently recovered the cluster around the 50/100-day MAs after surviving a hard flush into the high $3,700s on the daily. The uptrend is maintained because the 200-day MA lingers like a grumpy old man at a funeral, still sulking at $3,500. A move through $4,220-$4,280 would invalidate that micro downtrend and reopen the gates of $4,500-$4,650, followed by the previous peak. The price currently simmers below a short descending line from the recent local high-like a tea kettle trying to whistle but only managing a sad squeak.
The hype machine around its DeFi testnet and DEX dropped faster than my enthusiasm for small talk at parties. Traders are suddenly playing it safe, freaked out by technical mumbo-jumbo and inflation ghosts haunting the charts. With chaos flying everywhere, everyone’s whispering: Will Pi hit rock bottom or pull a surprise comeback? Spoiler: Probably just more chaos. 😏
