Crypto News

According to the whispers of Bloomberg’s oracles, Ripple intends to employ a special purpose acquisition company (SPAC), a vehicle of financial ingenuity, to navigate this treacherous journey. Like a modern-day Odysseus, Ripple will also contribute its own XRP holdings, a sacrifice to the gods of the market, in the hope of placating their fickle nature. Yet, the path is fraught with peril. Investor sentiment toward DATs has soured, as evidenced by the plummeting shares of crypto titans like Michael Saylor’s Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy) and Japan’s Metaplanet. 🌪️💔

Firms like Japan’s Metaplanet and Michael Saylor’s Strategy became overnight darlings, promising retail traders a shortcut to crypto wealth through the stock market. The logic? “Why mine Bitcoin when you can just buy shares in someone else’s treasure chest?” Spoiler: The treasure chest was mostly empty.

The grandest of these holders, those possessing fortunes in 1 to 10 million ADA – the “whales,” if you please – have been seen offloading their burdens, some 40 million ADA in the span of a week. It is always the largest estates that feel the chill first, is it not? Others, possessing still greater wealth, accumulate, leading to a perplexing dance of buying and selling. A confused, choppy affair, like a village fair where everyone is bartering but no one is quite sure what they truly want. It seems indecision reigns supreme.

Despite all the buzz about the House of Doge’s grand plans to stretch out a merger with some Nasdaq-listed giant, and Thumzup’s bravado about paying creators in DOGE-well, the excitement evaporated faster than a snowman in July. Traders, ever the skeptics, saw these headlines as mere sparkles in the fog, amused by the idea that they might somehow turn into real treasure anytime soon. So, they took their profits and vanished into the thin liquidity night, while Bitcoin and Ethereum retreated as if bored of playing second fiddle to the meme monarch. 🎭

Ethereum (ETH) daily (1D) price chart, as of October 17, 2025 | Source: TradingView

VirtualBacon, that most sagacious of sages, insists the current shenanigans are no mere echo of past crises. In 2020, the world’s assets performed a synchronized dive into the abyss; in 2021, Bitcoin was already nursing a hangover from its own excesses. Now, while our digital coin totters, stocks and gold are out there waltzing with the devil himself. A curious state of affairs, to be sure.

Discussions have intensified among investors following the filing, as it stands out as one of the boldest attempts yet in the crypto ETF world, especially since the SEC has yet to even approve any 3× leveraged crypto products. (Note: The SEC is currently busy redefining the word “no.”)

So, Bitcoin miners are basically the new rockstars of the financial world, but instead of groupies, they’ve got GPUs. And guess what? They’re flooding Binance with more BTC than a Kardashian floods Instagram with selfies. 📸 But is this a sign of a sell-off or just a fancy wallet shuffle? 🤔

Farside Investors, that paragon of financial clarity, reported U.S. Bitcoin ETFs hemorrhaging $530 million in 24 hours-a fiscal tragedy rivaling the fall of Byzantium. ARK Invest’s ARKB, now a ghost of its former self, shed $275 million, while Fidelity’s FBTC followed suit with a $132 million waltz into oblivion. Bitcoin, that digital Icarus, plummeted below $105,000, and altcoins? They dissolved into vapor, their value slashed by 70% in a week-a performance worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy… if Shakespeare had ever met a blockchain.

Developer Vincent Van Code (@vincent_vancode) wasn’t having any of the hype. “I’m pretty sure no one in crypto Twitter even understands what this is,” he quipped, before diving into the plumbing of it all. He’s right, because GTreasury isn’t just another wild, speculative bet-it’s a well-oiled machine that helps big corporations manage payments, liquidity, and cash flow. And it already talks to the big boys-SWIFT, ISO20022, and whatever else makes you feel important.