Crypto News

Behold, the Dogecoin, that most mischievous of digital canines, doth find itself in a protracted slumber, reminiscent of its 2017 awakening, when it leapt from obscurity to glory with the vigor of a pup chasing a butterfly. 🐕‍🦺 Yet, lo! The sages of the crypto realm foresee a resurgence, a 250% surge in the near term, and a 2,000% crescendo in the distant future, should the stars align. And what of Maxi Doge, that audacious cousin, who seeks to supplant its elder in the meme coin pantheon? A tale of ambition, folly, and the eternal struggle for attention. 🎩

If you’re screaming “Where did a dollar go?”, don’t worry, I’m here to blame the entire market while also admitting I once bought six full containers of Tums after eating a “healthy” avocado toast. Anyway, here’s what three shiny new AIs had to say about your next few days of joy. 🤷

Ripple’s learned legal maestro, the illustrious Stuart Alderoty, dispatched a barbed retort to their alleged subterfuge, decried via the social media mosaic that is the multifaceted behemoth known only as X, on the seventeenth of October. For a second diurnal cycle within the same fortnight, The New York Times-a bastion of literary clout but not, it seems, of perspicacity-once more depicted the noble art of cryptocurrency as nothing but a den of iniquity. “For the second time, my good sir, in as many weeks, the Times has adorned us with a ‘guest essay’ which proffers crypto as naught but a sinister plaything for scoundrels…” resounded Alderoty’s sharp tap on the scales of public discourse, decrying a narrative that they aver is as whimsical as it is miserably contrived.

As I understand it, much like a discreet gentleman withdrawing from a bustling ballroom to retreat to a quiet corner, Mr. Amr Taha, a pundit of admirable repute, has conveyed-via a QuickTake missive on X (an electronic parlor of sorts)-an update on the exchanges surrounding our cherished Bitcoin. Amid this backdrop of correction, a curiously ample amount of buying pressure rippled through the market, intimating that those known for their prudence in financial affairs may indeed be quietly gathering their hoards, blind to the present fragility of the price.

Ah, the wobbling of October! Fear not, dear reader, for Alex Thorn argues that this ephemeral stumble has yet to shatter the cyclical nature of our financial existence.

The Nikkei Asia report suggests that this union aims to streamline the labyrinthine processes of corporate fund settlements, a task as daunting as navigating a Russian winter without a coat. 🧣

Li Lin, now at the helm of Avenir Capital (a firm so flush with cash it makes Croesus look like a pauper), has assembled a coterie of crypto luminaries for this venture. Among them:

So, as expected, the NFT market is as hot as ever. Participation? Oh, it’s *through the roof*. The number of NFT buyers skyrocketed by 126.59% to 382,846, and the number of sellers is also up by 124.15%, now at 341,290. Even NFT transactions increased by 2.48%, totaling 1,703,436. We’re all buying and selling things that no one can physically touch! Truly a modern marvel.

Behold, the timing is no accident! OpenSea, once a mere bazaar for pixelated trinkets, now boasts its strongest performance in three years. In October 2025, it processed a staggering $2.6 billion in trading volume, with a mere 10% attributed to NFTs. 😱 Yes, the very marketplace that once crowned itself the king of digital art now finds its fortune in the mundane world of cryptocurrency trading. How the mighty have fallen-or perhaps, evolved? 🤔

On October 17, Google’s Threat Intelligence Group (GTIG) broke the news of this new, dare I say, creative cyber assault: a technique called “EtherHiding.” Yes, it sounds as mysterious and magical as it is-blockchain networks, once a symbol of digital freedom, are now the perfect place for hiding malicious code. Truly, we have entered the age of “high-tech hide-and-seek.”