The list reads like someone smashed a keyboard during a caffeine crash 🤯. But beneath the chaos lies a pattern: these tokens are about as liquid as a desert cactus. Osmosis (OSMO) and StaFi (FIS), once DeFi’s prom queens, now trade less than a bored hedge fund intern’s lunch budget ($10M daily volume? Cute). Skate and Tanssi? Metaverse relics from the “we’ll all live in VR” era. They peaked harder than disco in 1979.
On October 20th, the enigmatic Saylor let the cat out of the bag-his Bitcoin treasury, Strategy, had gobbled up an extra helping of the digital golden coin. With 168 BTC, worth a cool $18.8 million, each Bitcoin now costs a staggering $112,051. “Our Bitcoin yield is a splendid 26.0% this year!” Saylor crowed, “And as of October 19th, 2025, we’re hoarding a staggering 640,418 BTC, all for a mere $47.4 billion. Each Bitcoin, of course, is priced at a cozy $74,010.” 🧙♂️💰
Our illustrious Bitcoin, once soaring like Icarus, hath plummeted to $103,500 (a mere 18% fall from its $126,200 zenith on Oct. 6). A classic bull-market correction, as predictable as Molière’s rhyming couplets! 🎭
If the buyers, those modern-day knights of the keyboard, can hold their line against the profit-takers’ vultures, MNT might march toward $2.3. But let us not delude ourselves-history whispers that $1.59 awaits like a rusted guillotine. The market, after all, is a theater of contradictions, where every rally breeds its own undoing. 🏰💣
At press time, Dogecoin had wagged its tail 7.47% higher in 24 hours, fetching a tidy $0.20. That’s a leap from its Oct. 17 low of $0.175, like a dog leaping for a treat-only to land in a puddle of crypto confetti.
XRP is the talk of the crypto town, with analysts on the edge of their seats, eyes glued to key technical levels that might just signal the next big thing. The crypto market is buzzing like a beehive, and XRP has been stuck in a consolidation rut for weeks, making people wonder if it’s just building up energy for an epic breakout. The $2.55 to $2.65 range is being watched like a hawk – break that with volume, and you’ve got yourself a potential rally starter. 🦅🚀
In a post that screamed, “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!” 🎭 our hero Schwartz insisted the UNL merely “observes” the network’s progress. He claimed Ripple’s grip on the levers is as flimsy as a chocolate teapot, since the XRP Ledger would throw a tantrum (i.e., halt) if nodes disagreed with validators. A comforting thought, like telling a child the monster under the bed is just a fluffy bunny. 🐰
Behold, the illustrious Mr. Musk recently graced us with an AI-generated video, depicting his most estimable canine companion, Floki, as the CEO of X. One might imagine a dog in a tie and spectacles, surrounded by documents, as a most peculiar form of corporate governance. A marvel of modern technology, indeed!
1️⃣ Coinbase Institutional predicts Q4 2025 crypto recovery. Yeah, sure, like they predicted my dry cleaner losing my pants. 🙄
Ah, Bitcoin! That fickle darling of the digital realm, has risen from its weekend slumber, dusting off the cobwebs of a $500 billion value-destruction event. 🌪️💔 A 3% bounce in 24 hours, you say? How quaint! Yet, it remains 4% down for the month-a mere flesh wound, no doubt. 🩹