Apparently, everyone’s losing faith in, you know, money. Real money. Fiat currencies. Government debt. Coulda told you. Gold is over $5,000. $5,000! It’s all just…a mess. And now crypto is worried? Good. They should be worried. Serves ‘em right. It’s like watching chaos unfold, and frankly, it’s exhausting.
Our darlings, Ripple and Jeel, Riyad Bank’s brainiest thinkers, are setting the stage for a splendid Arabian saga of financial transformation, as per a tweet, stretching from here to the edges of the golden sands on the 26th of January.
Bloomberg’s Mike McGlone, who probably wears a suit even to bed, dropped this gem:
On the grand stage of X, the enigmatic macro analyst, known only as Market Radar, uses the current dance of divergence between BTC and gold to unravel the myth that Bitcoin is the digital successor to the Queen of metals. Apparently, Bitcoin is not the knight in shining armor but rather the rowdy cousin who crashes the family reunion.
Meanwhile, some so-called “analyst”-the sort who claims to have foresight but often just guesses with flair-points out that BTC’s price is stuck between the grand kingdoms of $85,000 and $95,000. As if the coin is holding its breath for a magic trick, waiting to escape this grip just before it gets bored. That magnetic web of options is nearly double in density than on any other day-perhaps a sign that someday, sooner or later, this puppet will cut its strings.
As of January 26, ETH is stuck in consolidation purgatory, having failed to establish itself above $3,000. It’s like that one friend who keeps trying to join the cool kids’ table but keeps getting rejected. Multiple daily rejections? Ouch. Even the blockchain feels the burn.
Apparently, VAVX just started trading with a fee waiver for a whole $500 million or until some date in late February. After that, VanEck plans to charge a tiny 0.2%. Must be nice. Less fees, more fun, right? Or less fun – you tell me. Kyle DaCruz, the big shot at VanEck, says this ETF is all about “transparency” and “access,” whatever that means. Basically, they’re opening a door, hoping some sucker walks in.
Yet the rogue recovered a shade of sorrowful grace, and hovered about 87,800 dollars; still, the sages of the market pronounce BTC bearish, and lower levels, like suitors who never learn, await their cue.
The exodus, old sport, is the most colossal since mid-November of 2025, when the only thing falling faster than crypto prices was Aunt Agatha’s approval of my latest scheme involving a trained otter and a jar of marmalade.
Bitcoin’s price is doing a dramatic, moody thing, like a character who’s always on a dramatic bounce. Despite the chaos, bullish vibes linger among investors. In this unstable mood, the whales-those deep-pocketed folks-are popping back into the scene with a “we’re not scared” swagger.