Crypto News

One might imagine the UAE merely playing host to another conference, yet no-this was a gathering where titans from the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime rubbed shoulders with the Interpol knights, the inexorable agents of the US Internal Revenue Service, the Royal Malaysian Police, and the tech conjurers weaving spells in code. Together, they sought the elusive secrets of tracking the darkened trails of digital bandits.

Some whisper-those hopeful souls with stars in their eyes-that this glorious escapade is but a mere prelude. The true spectacle? A full-fledged altcoin season, loud as a Moscow street market, where every coin aspires to be the next Rasputin.

On the dates of September 12 and September 14, Tether has, with the precision of a taxman at Christmas, conjured up two billion new USDT tokens, as per the diligent scribblings of Lookonchain.

Mark Casey, a portfolio manager with 25 years of experience, who claims his investment philosophy is shaped by the likes of Benjamin Graham and Warren Buffett, now finds himself captivated by Bitcoin, which he calls “one of the coolest things ever created by people” – a sentiment that would make even the most ardent tech bro blush 😎. “I just love Bitcoin,” he declared during a podcast with Andreessen Horowitz, as if the digital asset were a long-lost lover rather than a volatile, speculative bubble 🤡.

During a chat with Anthony Pompiliano (because who needs sleep when you can talk crypto?), Visser dropped this bombshell:

Bitwise’s Ryan Rasmussen (a name that sounds like it was generated by a corporate name bot) told the FT that Coinbase’s head start might be turning into a head-scratcher. 🤔 Meanwhile, Coinbase’s stock is doing the financial equivalent of the cha-cha slide-up, down, and all around. In July, it hit a record high, making investors briefly forget that crypto is basically a rollercoaster designed by a sadist. But since then, it’s taken a 33% nosedive from its peak. Ouch. Still, it’s up 25% since the start of the year, so not all hope is lost. Unless you bought at the peak. In which case, our thoughts are with you. 🙏

The market may still have room for growth despite being in the late stage of the bull run, according to BitMEX Founder Arthur Hayes. 🤡

This isn’t mere happenstance. Targeted family offices and asset managers-the venerable guardians of inherited fortunes-are being gently coaxed into the digital labyrinth. Cypher Capital, wielding its freshly acquired POL tokens like a newcomer flaunting his Soviet badges, pledges to sculpt investment strategies so elegant that even the bureaucrats of liquidity, compliance, and risk shall clap reluctantly in approval.

Fabio Plein, the fella over at Coinbase who knows the lay of the land, says this ain’t good news for the little guy-those small investors are about to feel the bite. But the big money? Oh, they’ll be snug as bugs in a rug.

With the assurance that only a true visionary can muster, Borovik shared these predictions on his magical X post, painting a picture where Bitcoin climbs a mind-boggling mountain to $896,503-yes, you heard it right, folks! And Ethereum might feel generous and stretch to $35,000! Why not throw in a BNB at $7,000 while we’re at it? What a splendid game of make-believe we find ourselves in! 🎩✨