The US Dollar is about as relevant as a flip phone at a tech conference. 🌍💸 Apparently, 94% of financial authorities are either already on the crypto train or packing their bags. Choo choo! 🚂
As “Uptober” limps to its close, all eyes are fixed on November, the month that seems to waltz into history with its bullish confidence, cloaked in a crimson-and-green patchwork quilt-more red than Christmas, but December is a long way off, isn’t it? CryptoRank’s heatmap indicates an average gain of over 40%, making you wonder if November has some secret, golden magic up its sleeve-perhaps a little something called tradition, seasoned with a dash of statistical stubbornness.
Because subnets decided to throw a pool party 🏊♂️! Bittensor’s market cap ballooned 11% in a day-like a toddler’s face after sucking on a helium balloon. Meanwhile, futures open interest spiked 19%, which is fancy talk for “gamblers are placing bets faster than a sloth on espresso.” The real kicker? TAO broke a “long-term descending trendline,” which is just a fancy way of saying a grumpy old dragon that’s been stomped on. 🐉💨
After a brief waltz in the doldrums, our aquatic benefactors have returned, flinging their ill-gotten gains (or perhaps legally acquired ones?) at the market. The result? A buoyant bounce over $2.50, because nothing says “confidence” like hoarding 190 million tokens in a week. 🎉
Now, let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? The XRP Ledger was the brainchild of three techy wizards: David Schwartz, Jed McCaleb, and Arthur Britto. These guys waved their magic wands and-POOF!-the XRP Ledger went live back in June 2012. 🧙♂️
Now, despite being up more than 11% year-on-year (because Solana does occasionally try to behave), the short-term setup is getting, well, tense. The next 10% move could very well decide if this coin heads straight into a long, cold winter, complete with snowflakes and maybe a few penguins.
According to the company’s filing, which reads like a Shakespearean soliloquy of numbers, Metaplanet aims to gobble up 150 million shares (or 13.13% of its total) by October 2026. The cash? A credit facility so vast it could drown a small island nation. One wonders if the executives are moonlighting as sorcerers, conjuring liquidity from thin air. 🧙♂️🌬️
They’ve raised nearly twenty million dollars-no small feat-because apparently, everyone’s got a little ambition, and maybe a lot of caffeine. This money comes from big names like Dragonfly Capital and Coinbase Ventures, who seem eager to gamble on a future where cash is less king and digital coins are the new sheriff in town. Yes, the same coins that can be slipped into a mobile wallet while you haggle over the price of a mango.
If other Digital Asset Treasuries (DATs, fancy term for crypto hoarders) decide to follow ETHZilla’s charismatic lead and dump their ETH at a discount, then yes, the whole Ethereum circus might take a hit. But hey, who likes a market where everyone’s trying to offload their bags faster than you can say “buy the dip?”
Kendrick noted that the global environment for risk assets has improved dramatically over the past week. What began as a period of anxiety-a la “the Agatean Empire before the last audit”-has morphed into optimism, thanks to U.S.-China handshakes and rare-earth export delays. “It’s like two giants agreeing on the price of a sandwich,” he mused. “Miracles do happen, or so the stock tickers say.”
