Crypto News

In the latest episode of ‘Market Wizards and Wizards of Market,’ BeLaunch, the clairvoyant of cryptocurrency predictions, says Bitcoin’s current move is precisely as expected-like a soap opera plot only with more dollar signs. It’s entered the “pause to refresh” phase, probably because it’s been running hot, hot, hot. This isn’t weakness, it’s just a natural cooling-off-think of it as a market-wide eye roll after yet another meteoric rally.

Today, XRP lingered near $2.53, a modest sum for a coin with delusions of grandeur. Yet, whispers of whale hoarding and the holy grail of ETF approval had the market dreaming of $3.50 and beyond. “Resistance?” one investor scoffed. “More like a suggestion.”

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Governor Perry Warjiyo, the man who probably knows more about digital finance than anyone at this conference (and who also probably has the best PowerPoint presentation in town), unveiled this plan at the Indonesia Digital Finance and Economy Festival and Fintech Summit 2025 in Jakarta. Just another day at the office for BI, right?

This particular fundraising affair, hosted via Sonar, marks MegaETH’s third attempt at securing patronage since its 2024 “Echo” round and the February “Fluffles” NFT drop-a name so saccharine it could curdle milk. Participants were permitted to lock their tokens for a year to earn a 10% discount, a proposition U.S. investors accepted with the enthusiasm of a debutante agreeing to a marriage contract. Allocations, one is told, depend on onchain history and ecosystem involvement, though some believe locking tokens might improve one’s odds. One wonders if this is akin to wearing a silk gown to a garden party-ostensibly to impress, but perhaps with a hint of desperation.

The grand spectacle of its attempted recovery resembles a tragic comedy: fleeting hopes dashed against the cruel bricks of fading conviction and market chaos. The once roaring bull has become a meek spectator, trembling on the sidelines while selling pressure pummels what’s left of its dignity. Who could have guessed that a digital coin could suffer such a poetic fall from grace? 🥀

The Fed’s rate cut was as exciting as a grey Tuesday morning – everyone knew about it and not much else came from it. It was a highly anticipated event, and like a drama lacking surprise, many found it boring.

Oh, great, Bitcoin’s doing its usual circus act – plunges to almost $108,000 like it’s auditioning for a soap opera, then soars above $110,000. And hey, $817 million in leveraged futures liquidations? Sounds like a bad divorce where the long traders get the shaft. Again. Typical Tuesday Wednesday Thursday, whatever day it is.

The “Fear & Greed” index, that unreliable narrator of market sentiment, declares Bitcoin has plunged into the “fear” abyss. A paltry 34 out of 100 points-yesterday’s neutral 51 now a distant memory. 🦇🔮

The motion, with all the grandeur of a Versailles ball, demands a public body to amass a Bitcoin hoard equal to 2% of the total supply-roughly 420,000 BTC-over seven to eight years. How, you ask? By mining with surplus energy, hoarding seized Bitcoin like a digital dragon, and siphoning off a slice of Livret A and LDDS savings for daily BTC purchases. Tax payments in Bitcoin? Mais oui, if the constitution gives its nod. 🤑🔗