This warp-speed increase in value followed the launch of the Safello Bittensor Staked TAO ETP (ticker: STAO), courtesy of Deutsche Digital Assets (who probably think “digital” and “assets” sound even cooler together) and Safello (which, as far as we know, doesn’t make pies). They unveiled this stellar offering on Wednesday.
At the time of writing (aka, my coffee break), Ethereum is lounging around $3,846, teetering above the crucial $3,802 support area like a stiletto on a slippery dance floor. Market observers (aka, the crypto gossip squad) are all like, “Ooh, this level is the hotspot for traders and investors alike.” 🕵️♀️ Will it hold? Or will ETH faceplant into the dip? 🍾→🤦♀️
The esteemed Secretary Bessent, yes, he of the US Treasury, found himself… impressed. By Singapore, naturally. Their adoption of these digital curiosities, these ‘stablecoins’, caught his attention. As if the fate of nations hinged upon whether a digital coin wobbled or not! He even paid attention to their… method of digital assets. Friday, of all days. A meeting with Prime Minister Wong, officially documented, of course, directly from the US Department of the Treasury. A veritable avalanche of officialdom! One suspects a great deal of tea was consumed. ☕
T3 FCU reports a rise in “wrench attacks”, violent physical coercion used to steal cryptocurrency, marking a dangerous shift from purely digital crimes to real-world violence. 💥
In a ruling that’s as surprising as a toaster refusing to toast your bread just the way you like it, the US Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit sided with the Federal Reserve. The decision? Well, it’s basically “no soup for you!” for Custodia’s appeal, which they filed in April 2024 after a Wyoming district court said, “No thanks” to giving them a US Federal Reserve master account. Oh, and by the way, this drama started in October 2020 when Custodia first submitted its application. It’s been a long wait.
Because the utility is partly government-owned, it is one of the few nations where the state participates in Bitcoin mining. A most ingenious way to balance the books, one might say. 🤷♂️
Behold Zcash, that ancient sentinel of anonymity, born into the world in the chill winds of October 2016, much like a child of turbulent times, forging paths through the digital wilderness. At the dawn of this very October, it languished below eighty dollars, a pauper prince in the court of kings; but then, in a crescendo of valor, it surged 375%, ascending to three hundred eighty by the eve of All Hallows-thus dethroning Monero, that erstwhile monarch, to claim the throne of market dominance. Governments, ever the meddlers in mankind’s intricate affairs, ponder decrees like the European Union’s “Chat Control,” a proposal as absurd as forcing a wolf to shepherd sheep, compelling the scanning of encrypted whispers. Meanwhile, Meta, that insatiable behemoth, resumes feasting upon European data for its AI progeny, as if the gods themselves deemed surveillance a divine right. Amidst this crescendo of concern, privacy technologies reemerge, not as mere tools, but as shields against the relentless gaze-oh, the sarcasm of progress, where we cry freedom while chains clatter! 😏
The 50-day MA and the 200-day MA on the XRP/BTC pair are practically whispering sweet nothings to each other, and if the 50-day MA gets bold enough to cross above its elder, we might witness a golden cross. But, heavens above, if it’s the other way round, it’s a death cross, and that’s about as cheerful as a wet weekend in Blandings. ☠️📉
Now, Coinbase Prime isn’t just your average crypto exchange-it’s where big, fancy institutional investors do their thing. We’re talking custody, trading, all that jazz. So when BlackRock shoves a massive pile of Bitcoin onto Coinbase, some folks start sweating. Could they be setting us all up for a sell-off? 👀
A chart, perhaps the last relic of reason:
