Ah, Balancer! A classic. In a twist no one saw coming (except for maybe everyone who’s been paying attention), Balancer’s treasury wallets were drained overnight in a multichain exploit, described by PeckShield as a coordinated attack. How charming.
On Nov. 3, Gate released their report (because nothing says “financial transparency” like a spreadsheet full of numbers). As of Oct. 28, their reserves hit $11.67 billion. Their reserve ratio is 124%, which basically means they’re holding extra crypto like it’s the 2021 bull run and they’re trying to outdo Elon. 🚀
Norby’s main beef? XRP’s on-chain activity is about as exciting as watching paint dry. 🦥 “Extremely mediocre,” he said, shading harder than a 2010s Tumblr post. Meanwhile, Solana’s over here flexing with 2.5 million daily active accounts-100x more than XRP’s measly 25,000. 💪 “The fiction is very far ahead of the facts,” he added, basically calling XRP’s roadmap a fanfic. 📖✨
Our Monday marathon is inaugurated with the unassuming releases from the likes of Impossible Cloud Network (ICNT) and StakeStone (STO) . Ah, such insignificant quantities, so small, yet they possess the quaint charm of a debutante ball, expanding ICNT by a modest 5% and STO by a demure 3%-both in the wan light of the predawn hours. Ah, how quaint!
Analysts, ever the doomsayers, now warn that the Bitcoin price crash may escalate, possibly plunging as low as $88,000, if market sentiment doesn’t find its footing. One can only imagine the drama. 🎭
This ripple of uncertainty now plays the fiddle with those miners and their antics, a shift in this mystical on-chain contraption, if you ask me.
Market cap took a tasteful 9.95% stroll upward to $2.13 billion, while trading volumes spiked to an eye-catching $449.92 million in just 24 hours. It’s almost like ICP remembered how to behave-at least temporarily. Interestingly, this rebound happened alongside a bullish divergence on the lower timeframes, even as the broader weekly chart remains as gloomy as a Monday morning post-party. Bulls have seized what seems like control, but how long can they keep the party going? And what does open interest tell us about the next rollercoaster? Well, join me in this delightful deep dive into the chaos.
The European Commission, ever-so-inventive, plans to endow the European Securities and Markets Authority (ESMA) with expanded powers. This will allow for the stewardship of an eclectic mix of institutions-crypto exchanges, stock markets, and clearing houses-united under an EU umbrella. A draft proposal, quite like a mystery letter awaiting its grand revelation, is set to unveil itself in December. 🗓️🎩
But, my dears, that was merely the overture. Enter Aster’s ever so cleverly devised buyback and airdrop model. It’s a thrilling spectacle, as volatile as the changing moods at a Gatsby party, turning tokenomics into one of those affairs that clearly favors the holders. Thus, the price, hitherto as immovable as Lady Bracknell at a séance, found itself free from its chains. A veritable bonanza ensued, propelled by whale activity itching to take the spotlight.
Thus ends the latest chapter in this saga, a final stage in the protracted review. As reported by the suitably named “Financial Press” (one pictures earnest gentlemen with ink-stained fingers), this extension represents the absolute limit allowed by a section of the law known as 19(b)(2). One can almost feel the SEC’s exasperation: “Very well, we shall decide. But don’t expect us to enjoy it.”
