As quantum computing gallops forward like a caffeinated racehorse 🏇♂️⚡, experts are losing sleep over whether Bitcoin’s cryptographic fortress will crumble. Spoiler: It might, unless you heed Woo’s advice. Or maybe just invest in a tinfoil hat. 🥡
Meanwhile, our four-legged friend continues to tread water. The charts show a series of failed attempts to rally above the 50-EMA and 100-EMA, with lower highs making quite the dramatic appearance since late September. Picture a game of musical chairs where SHIB never gets a seat – surrounded by a bearish mafia of moving averages, especially with the 200-EMA rolling over like a tired old man. And just to add insult to injury, volume isn’t exactly cheering for a comeback. Red days spike like fireworks on New Year’s, while green days are more like a flickering candle-hardly inspiring. It’s all about distribution – handing out tokens like candy-rather than gathering strength.
It appears Uniswap’s native token, UNI, has been engaging in something of a giddy spree, leaping nearly 48% in the last 24 hours. This all stems from the core developers unveiling a plan to activate the “fee switch” – a mechanism that, rather cleverly, redirects trading fees toward token holders and the general upkeep of the protocol. Jolly good show!
His latest 40x short on BTC was fully liquidated within hours, highlighting how overconfidence and poor risk management can turn even seasoned traders into “exit liquidity.” 🚀
The result? 📈 A frankly alarming 40% surge in UNI’s price. Reaching the dizzying height of $10, if you please. One almost feels sorry for those who sold it at a pittance yesterday. Almost.
Now, this bill-a bit of a patchwork quilt, really-is off to the House of Representatives, where it’s expected to get a nod on Wednesday afternoon. If all goes well (and when does it ever in Washington?), President Donald Trump will sign it faster than you can say “executive order.” Then, poof! Government operations will spring back to life like a jack-in-the-box. 🪄
This is a Fast News post by CoinDesk’s own financial bard, Omkar Godbole, who channels market ghosts into spreadsheets. 📊👻
It reportedly took around 10 hours for Republicans to get the job done on Monday and obtain the 60 votes (eight being Democrats) needed to pass a funding bill that would cover most of the government’s expenses through to the end of January next year. Because nothing says “collaboration” like a 10-hour negotiation. 🕵️♂️
The Zcash price, like a swallow in the autumn sky, soared 20% to $658, following a 200% leap in 30 days, as the Nov. 18 halving event whispers promises of scarcity. 🚀
Gemini paraded its third-quarter gingerbread man results smackbang in the middle of Monday (because who doesn’t love Mondays?)-this being their debut encore since debuting at the Sugar Plum Fairy IPO masquerade. And what did they declare? Revenues of $50.6 million, an Olympic gold leap from last year’s $24.5 million snooze-fest!
