Crypto News

The scrolls of ChartNerd, circulated heavily on the arcane realm of X, delineate a labyrinthine pattern that has been manifesting since the halcyon days of 2018. After ascending to an altitude of $3.84, akin to the peak of Holy Olympus, these digital riches were bound in chains within a geometrical snare, their wings clipped for nearly seven winters. But behold! The chains are shattered, and from mere $0.5 to a lofty $3.6, it surged as if driven by the spirit of a thousand rebellious waves this annum alone.

Glassnode, those learned gentlemen of the blockchain, have deigned to share their observations on X – a platform for fleeting thoughts and self-promotion, naturally. They speak of this so-called “Accumulation Trend Score,” a metric as prone to misinterpretation as the pronouncements of an oracle. It seems to measure who’s hoarding and who’s unloading, weighting the opinions of the wealthy, because, you know, money talks. 🙄

This new charter would let Coinbase expand its current services – like securely holding customers’ digital assets – to include things like payment processing and finalizing transactions, all without needing to become a traditional bank.

The filings, announced on a Friday (because of course), promise ETFs linked to tokens like Cardano, Stellar, Sui, and Hype. Many come with staking features to let investors earn rewards while they hold their assets, all while watching the price charts pretend they’re doing Pilates. 💸🧘‍♀️

On the zoomy chart, SEI’s been playing dead after plumbeting to $0.26 in late September like a bad actor flopping on stage, but the comeback? Meh, it’s got all the steam of a cold cup of coffee. Stuck flailing between $0.29 and $0.30, resistance is treating it like it’s the villain in a bad western. Bang, outta here! 🛑

It has been nibbling away at gains thanks to a raucous crowd in the futures market, all levered up and ready for mischief. According to CoinGlass, Bitcoin’s Open Interest (OI) and volume have been creeping upward since the September 28 rebound, like a gleeful goblin creeping up the stairs. 🪄

After a summer snooze fest, October comes rolling in like that one cousin who always gets the party started. “Uptober” isn’t just a catchy hashtag – it’s the spark that sets off a crypto wildfire! Investors, with their ‘I know something you don’t’ mindset, start rushing in, pushing prices higher with a side of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out, for the uninitiated). It’s like a crypto rollercoaster, and everyone’s hands are up! 🎢

In this Maxi Doge review, we’re flexing on how $MAXI could be the next big thing in the meme coin universe. 🌌

Other chains, like Base and XRP, flirted briefly with eternal prominence, but alas, they’ve withered like forgotten roses in a garden of fools. Thus far, BSC boasts the most splendid infrastructure and a community so devoted, one might jest it’s practically aristocratic. How quaint, how utterly Wilde-worthy! 🎩

The grand total of these so-called stablecoins swishing about has finally leaped over that magical $300 billion mark, thanks to the wizards at Defillama data – a feat that screams crypto’s sneaky infiltration into the world’s big-money games, like a bunch of naughty imps gatecrashing a queen’s banquet.