But hold onto your hats, because amid all the chaos, the industry’s stubborn little engine called resilience whispered, “This isn’t the end.” According to some crypto-whisperers at Bitfinex, the market’s still got some fight left in it, promising a potential October bounce. Or so they say, while nervously clutching their wallets.
In this vast gulag of crypto speculation, 76% of the hapless retail traders have shackled themselves long on Solana-a signal as bullish as a prisoner dreaming of amnesty in Stalin’s dreams.
ARKHAM ALERT: THE GREAT WHALE STIRS FROM ITS SLUMBER!
The $10B Hyperunit Whale, that enigmatic beast of the crypto seas, has begun to trim its shorts. A paltry $15 million closed, leaving a staggering $478M still afloat. Oh, the drama! It sits on an unrealized profit of $11.8 million-a crumb for such a titan. 🐳💤
YLDS offers SOFR minus 35 basis points (because why settle for normal interest rates when you can subtract 0.35% and call it “exclusive”?), backed by short-term treasuries. Per the Sui Foundation, it’s like a financial Swiss Army knife-but with more red tape. 🛠️
Introducing the “Together Initiative,” a $400 million “feel-good” fund to rescue anyone who got caught in the recent market tumble. Yes, right after the crypto market played a game of “how low can you go,” Binance is giving back-well, sort of. Maybe. $300 million worth of USDC vouchers will magically appear for users who got liquidated between October 10 and 11, 2025. Because nothing says “recovery” like a timestamp and a $50 minimum loss (don’t oversell it, folks – we’re just talking pocket change for some).
In case you missed it, Solmate Infrastructure (Nasdaq: SLMT) just made the financial world do a double-take with their press release. They grabbed $50 million worth of SOL straight from the Solana Foundation-at a discount, naturally-because who doesn’t love a good bargain? 😏
Imagine, if you will, the consternation that ensued when the esteemed US President, Mr. Donald Trump, proclaimed a 100% tariff on Chinese imports. The market, ever so delicate, quivered like a debutante at her first soiree. Bitcoin, along with its altcoin companions, suffered a most pronounced sell-off, leading to a capitulation that left many a wallet lighter. 🧾💔
Bitcoin (BTC), the diva of the crypto world, has sashayed down 2.04% in the past 24 hours, now teetering near $112,500 with a market cap of $2.24 trillion. Trading volume? Still high at $85.9 billion, because apparently everyone loves a good fire sale. Ethereum (ETH) is down 1.19%, sulking at $4,124 with a market cap of $497.7 billion. And poor XRP? Down 3%, trading at $2.51. It’s like the crypto version of a bad breakup. 💔
Musk’s praise of Bitcoin comes after a few years of being silent on the cryptocurrency. This is quite notable considering that the industry is recovering from a recent bloodbath triggered by the US-China trade war, which is about as exciting as watching paint dry… but with more economic jargon. 💸
Apparently, bridging traditional finance and decentralized markets is now a thing, and S&P is determined to build that bridge without any blueprints, because who needs instructions anyway?
