But lo and behold! XRP, Ripple’s ever-hopeful little soldier, managed to crawl back from the abyss. After a heart-stopping dip, it’s now sitting at a not-so-bad $2.40 after a modest 4% daily jump. It’s like watching someone trip over their shoelaces and then somehow finish the race in second place. Bravo, XRP!
Economist and gold advocate Peter Schiff, ever the Cassandra of the financial world, has issued a stark warning that the losses about to hit the crypto industry will be… staggering. One might say he’s been predicting the end of the world since the days of the dot-com bubble. 🧙♂️
On that fateful October 16th, industry whispers confirmed that South Korean regulators, often more cautious than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, finally signed off on Binance’s latest conquest. After a lengthy wait-more dragging than a Netflix series-regulators cleared the way for Binance to legally own a good chunk of Gopax, which they had sneakily acquired back in February 2023, snagging a solid 67%. As if anyone doubted they’d eventually cash in on their Machiavellian plans. 😏
According to crypto wizard Ali Martinez (aka the chart whisperer), our beloved meme coin is *finally* showing signs of a bullish breakout. 🎉 Yes, you heard that right-DOGE wants to rebound! And not just a little hop, skip, and jump-we’re talking targets of $0.29, $0.45, and the holy grail: $0.86. 🤑
According to the whispers of Bloomberg’s oracles, Ripple intends to employ a special purpose acquisition company (SPAC), a vehicle of financial ingenuity, to navigate this treacherous journey. Like a modern-day Odysseus, Ripple will also contribute its own XRP holdings, a sacrifice to the gods of the market, in the hope of placating their fickle nature. Yet, the path is fraught with peril. Investor sentiment toward DATs has soured, as evidenced by the plummeting shares of crypto titans like Michael Saylor’s Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy) and Japan’s Metaplanet. 🌪️💔
Firms like Japan’s Metaplanet and Michael Saylor’s Strategy became overnight darlings, promising retail traders a shortcut to crypto wealth through the stock market. The logic? “Why mine Bitcoin when you can just buy shares in someone else’s treasure chest?” Spoiler: The treasure chest was mostly empty.
The grandest of these holders, those possessing fortunes in 1 to 10 million ADA – the “whales,” if you please – have been seen offloading their burdens, some 40 million ADA in the span of a week. It is always the largest estates that feel the chill first, is it not? Others, possessing still greater wealth, accumulate, leading to a perplexing dance of buying and selling. A confused, choppy affair, like a village fair where everyone is bartering but no one is quite sure what they truly want. It seems indecision reigns supreme.
Despite all the buzz about the House of Doge’s grand plans to stretch out a merger with some Nasdaq-listed giant, and Thumzup’s bravado about paying creators in DOGE-well, the excitement evaporated faster than a snowman in July. Traders, ever the skeptics, saw these headlines as mere sparkles in the fog, amused by the idea that they might somehow turn into real treasure anytime soon. So, they took their profits and vanished into the thin liquidity night, while Bitcoin and Ethereum retreated as if bored of playing second fiddle to the meme monarch. 🎭
Ethereum (ETH) daily (1D) price chart, as of October 17, 2025 | Source: TradingView
VirtualBacon, that most sagacious of sages, insists the current shenanigans are no mere echo of past crises. In 2020, the world’s assets performed a synchronized dive into the abyss; in 2021, Bitcoin was already nursing a hangover from its own excesses. Now, while our digital coin totters, stocks and gold are out there waltzing with the devil himself. A curious state of affairs, to be sure.