What’s bizarre is that Dogecoin already had its moment in the ETF spotlight earlier this year. The first DOGE fund popped up faster than a jack-in-the-box, catching everyone off guard and proving there’s a hunger for crypto beyond Bitcoin and Ethereum. Now, Grayscale wants to be the top dog in round two. 🐕🦺
This dip? Possibly the universe’s way of whispering “buy more,” especially with firms throwing money like it’s a game of Monopoly. Record institutional exposure suggests they’re in it for the long haul-or just like watching us panic.
Pray, allow me to elucidate: VALR, the paragon of crypto exchanges in Africa, has condescended to offer its indispensable infrastructure to Mukuru, thereby enabling the latter’s vast clientele to partake in the delights of USDC. This, dear reader, is no mere trifle, for it provides a most welcome refuge from the tempestuous seas of local currency volatility. 🌪️💰
Yes. Ethereum briefly traded below $3,000 on 17 November, marking a significant breakdown of this key support level. Like a chocolate teapot in a hurricane. 🌪️
The Financial Services Agency (FSA)-that majestic guardian of Japan’s economic sanity-is at it again. Their latest plot? Reclassify 105 digital assets, from the legendary bitcoin to a smattering of other tokens, as “financial products”-which sounds fancy but is basically giving crypto the corporate nod. Imagine your digital coins getting dressed in a suit and tie, subjected to the same strict rules as stocks. Fun, right? According to insiders who are probably just the coffee makers in the agency’s back office, this move would drag crypto into the realm of “traditional investments,” as if crypto ever wanted that! 😆
Meanwhile, Ethereum, that once noble contender with lofty ambitions, has also bowed to the merciless tide, slipping below the all-important $3,000 threshold. Traders, riding the leverage rollercoaster, are now crying into their digital beer as liquidations skyrocket-an eye-watering $800 million to be precise. One can only marvel at the spectacle of so many fortunes evaporating in a single afternoon, like a magician’s last trick-only without the applause. 🎩💥
The man behind Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki, has taken a swing at Buffett’s recent claims that Bitcoin is nothing but a speculative gamble. “Speculation?” Kiyosaki scoffs. “Tell that to the Fed’s printing press, which churns out dollars like a baker on Red Bull.” 🍞💸
According to Monday’s announcement (which, one might assume, was delivered with the solemnity of a funeral), institutions can now deposit and withdraw stablecoins, while the yield is generated by staking Solana’s tokens and hedging with perpetual futures. It’s like playing Russian roulette with a revolver filled with crypto. 🔫
One cannot help but note that the stability once as reliable as Mr. Bingley’s affection has evaporated, as exchange outflows of the humble stablecoin have hurried away, leaving only a paltry sum of eighty-five billion dollars-hardly sufficient to fund a modest picnic, let alone a flourishing portfolio. The outflows, which have been accelerating faster than Lady Catherine’s tongue, suggest that investors are quite frankly fleeing the scene, possibly in search of more genteel pursuits or, dare I suggest, the comforting embrace of their Sunday bests instead of digital tokens. 📉
