Crypto News

Things That Might Be Worth Knowing (Probably)

Ether has already gained 16% this year, and let’s be honest, we’re barely done with our New Year’s resolutions. Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s over here pretending to hustle with a measly 6.7% gain. 🥱

Now, the fourth quarter was no snooze-fest either, averaging over 27 million contracts, while December brought in a cozy 23 million. It seems like everyone was too busy trading to stop for a cup of tea! ☕️

After a little warm-up above $0.1320 (looking at you, Bitcoin and Ethereum), DOGE decided it was its moment to shine. It broke through $0.140 like it was a velvet rope and entered the VIP section. 🌟

In a display of unwavering confidence reminiscent of the old prophetic seers from bygone days, Draper, founder of Draper Associates and a prophet of BTC, shared via the then-recently invented platform X, on the fifth day of January in the year 2026, an enthusiastic commentary following his address at the Shanghai Artificial Intelligence Industry Forum. He painted a picture of Bitcoin as the inevitable cornerstone of an economy moving along at a pace set by artificial intelligence.

A corner of the bustling digital agora now echoes with the musings of analysts from Bull Theory, having recently graced X (formerly Twitter) with their sagacious musings. They ponder the alchemical conditions needed for an altcoin renaissance.

As reported by the ever-so-reliable Financial Times-because who doesn’t love a bit of drama?-PwC has recalibrated its strategies in light of the new regulatory frameworks birthed under the auspices of former President Donald Trump. PricewaterhouseCoopers, or PwC for those who prefer brevity over grandeur, is a veritable titan in the universe of professional services, with its headquarters in London providing a cornucopia of services ranging from audits to business consulting. Quite the ambitious endeavor, wouldn’t you agree?

SoSoValue data, a beacon in this technological maelstrom, records XRP spot ETFs perpetuating their inflow antics over a stretch of 33 consecutive days. Meanwhile, Dogecoin spot ETFs, acting like fickle children, stirred from their weeks-long slumber of inactivity, suddenly imbuing excitement with a sharp uptick in their antics.

It was just sitting there, sideways, like a parked car. Volume? Forget about it. Lower than my patience at a deli counter. And then, BAM! People actually bought some. Who does that? It’s all positioning, you know? Not actual news. It’s just…people positioning. It’s ridiculous. 🙄

So, American Bitcoin Corp., a Hut 8 side hustle, decided to brag on X (formerly Twitter, because why not?) that their bitcoin stash is now bigger than your self-esteem after scrolling Instagram for too long. 📈 Based in Miami-because of course it is-this mining and hoarding crew now has over 5,000 BTC. Casual.