Following the chaos, about $903.1 million decided to politely exit Bitcoin funds – apparently, the crypto equivalent of a “sorry, I’m busy” hand wave. Ethereum wasn’t left out of the drama either, shedding $261.6 million from its wallet and straining to stay above the $2,700 line – like a pun on “Ethereum, oh dear.” Ethereum’s resistance at $3,200 seems as stubborn as a cat refusing a bath.
Imagine this: 26 million Brazilians, roughly 12% of the population, now dabbling in digital assets. It’s as if everyone’s suddenly discovered that their old porcelain piggy bank isn’t quite enough anymore. According to some Friday announcement (because why not?), Brazil’s crypto scene is booming-like a fireworks display gone slightly rogue. 🎆
BeInCrypto’s here with three altcoins that might either skyrocket or crater. Spoiler: it’s probably the latter. 🎉
XRP is currently sitting at the infamous $1.97 level, which traders are treating like the last cookie in the jar-fragile and very important. Its fall below $2.00 happened at the same time as the altcoins collectively decided to have a bad day, with Bitcoin’s dominance reaching 58.45% (source: CoinMarketCap, November 2025). Clearly, smaller tokens were getting dumped like old furniture. No one’s surprised, right?
Bubblemaps, the oracle of blockchain analytics, revealed a pattern as devious as a Napoleonic campaign-a Sybil-style farming operation, where one actor wields an army of wallets to plunder rewards. aPriori, in their quest to reward “genuine users,” lowered the eligibility bar, yet found no traitor within their ranks. “No evidence,” they proclaimed, with the gravity of a Tolstoy protagonist. CryptoMoon, ever the skeptic, sought answers, but the truth remained as elusive as happiness in Anna Karenina.
Ah, the investigation! Instead of probing the mundane technical failures of the token, it fixates on Milei’s whimsical decision to promote Libra from his official X account. The tweet, now vanished like a thief in the night, preceded the liquidation of $107 million from eight wallets linked to the project. The committee crows that without Milei’s divine endorsement, Libra would have remained a mere speck in the crypto cosmos. 🌌💥
For the discerning trader, such dislocations are not mere calamities but invitations to a macabre waltz. Shall we seize these oversold gems, or is another leg down lurking in the wings? Let us dissect these charts with the precision of a lepidopterist, examining the volume and RSI for clues, and assigning timelines to our speculative targets. After all, in the crypto theater, every dip is a drama, and every rally, a farce. 🎭📉
Global markets just told us what fear really smells like-musty, bitter, and a little bit hilarious.
