Back in 2017, EMCD was just a Bitcoin mining pool. Today, they’re a “Web 2.5” platform-half crypto, half traditional finance, and 100% less confusion (or is it?). They evolved because users kept asking, “Can’t this be simpler?” and EMCD replied, “Sure! Let’s add savings accounts, P2P trading, and fiat withdrawals. For science!”
Satori Coins, those audacious poker-chip analogs stuffed with fractional bitcoin, first waltzed onto the scene in 2016, only to vanish like a poorly timed quip at a dinner party. After the Casascius coins-crafted by the estimable Mike Caldwell from 2011 to 2013-retreated into the shadows, physical BTC became as common as a rainy day in Manchester. But now, with the return of Satori, one might say the crypto world is experiencing a case of the ennui-or perhaps a grand débacle with a side of glitter.
The latest update promises new premium tools for those lucky Patriot Package subscribers-because who doesn’t love the word ‘Patriot’ attached to their overpriced package, right? These subscribers can now edit their posts (finally!), schedule content (as if the world can’t wait), and create drafts that sync across all devices. Talk about living the dream. 💭
SOL is perched at $219, recovering with the pluck of a chap who’s just remembered he left his umbrella at the club. With on-chain liquidity hitting $1B, the bulls are feeling as chipper as a fellow with a new set of spats. 🌞👞
Ethereum [ETH] stands at the edge of destiny, like a chess piece teetering on the brink of victory. It’s ready to leap into uncharted territory, while Bitcoin [BTC], the old guard, yawns in the background, showing signs of fatigue. Poor Bitcoin-still clinging to its throne like a stubborn cat refusing to give up the couch. 🐱💤
Decentralized finance protocol Ethena has decided to throw its hat into the hyper-competitive ring for issuing Hyperliquid’s upcoming stablecoin. Clearly, they didn’t get the memo that *everyone* wants in, including Paxos, Sky, Frax, and Agora. The competition is now officially *spicy*.
In a press release, dated September 9-a day as ordinary as any, yet destined for the annals of financial history-Cboe Global Markets proclaimed its intent to list these Continuous futures on the Cboe Futures Exchange. Pending, of course, the nod from those ever-vigilant regulators. For what is life without a bit of bureaucratic suspense? 🎭
After facing bans and privacy-related tantrums in various lands (because nothing says “fun” like eye-scanning coins), WLD’s new ride with Upbit feels like a fairy godmother slapping on a glittery financial gown. And oh, Upbit plans to conquer the globe next-probably by summoning investors from places where “crypto” is still whispered like a forbidden spell. 🌍✨
a layer-2 chain so fast, blink and you miss it (1-second blocks, folks)
Meanwhile, Ethereum (ETH) flirted with danger, dipping below $4,300 to a low of $4,281. But ETH decided to get its act together and reclaimed that $4,300 line, now cruising near $4,373, also up about 2%. Buyers, don’t get cocky – the goal is $4,400 and beyond, people! Ripple (XRP) swaggered up over 4% to hit $3 (a whole dollar? Fancy!). Solana (SOL) went full pep rally, pumping 5% to around $219. Dogecoin (DOGE) had a solid 4% glow-up, while Cardano (ADA) looked extra fancy with a 5.45% gain, sitting pretty at $0.889. The rest of the gang-Chainlink, Stellar, Hedera, Toncoin, Litecoin, Polkadot-decided to join the party with their own price jumps. Crypto market or high school reunion? You decide.
