Enter Michael Saylor, the Hamlet of cryptocurrencies, oscillating between devotion and proclamation with theatrical flair. In a recent CNBC soliloquy, this grand high priest of Bitcoin declared it not merely an asset but the very engine propelling the chariot of prosperity and, if you will, freedom itself. Because nothing screams liberty quite like digital scarcity, darling.
Chairman and COO Bo Yu, with a voice as steady as a metronome, declares their undying devotion to Solana’s network. “To embed ourselves deeper into this tapestry of code and dreams,” he intones, “is to secure not just our place, but the very heartbeat of the blockchain.” Validators, those silent sentinels, shall hum on, ensuring the network’s pulse remains unyielding. 🛡️
On September 11, Kraken announced the official launch of “Kraken Perps,” a perpetual futures trading product now available to eligible clients in select regions around the world. 🌍
In a stunning twist of fate, Belarus has rediscovered the beauty of decentralization, using it to dodge sanctions like it’s some kind of economic dodgeball. And guess what? They’re not just doing it for fun-they’re doing it because it’s actually kind of brilliant.
The Reserve Bank of India, that paragon of prudence, has penned a document so dense it could double as a doorstop. It warns of crypto’s “alarming” risks, as if the concept of digital money were a wild beast that might devour the banking system. Yet instead of crafting a framework, officials resort to punitive taxes and compliance measures-a bureaucratic version of shouting “fire!” in a crowded room. 🚨
According to a Thursday tittle-tattle from the ever-so-reliable Caixin, mainland Chinese firms operating in Hong Kong might be shown the door when it comes to cryptocurrency-related capers. The Hong Kong branches of several state-owned enterprises and Chinese banks, bless their cotton socks, are expected to sit this one out rather than join the scramble for a Hong Kong stablecoin license. 🏃♂️🔒
9 сентября, в стенах Жогорку Кенеша (парламента), на заседании Комиссии по бюджету, экономической политике и финансам, министр экономики и торговли Бакыт Сыдыков объявил, что проект поправок к закону “О виртуальных активах” введет понятия “государственный майнинг” и “государственный криптозапас”.
In the annals of fiscal misery, Protocol Guild, that independent Harlequin of funding, has bared the bruised wallets of Ethereum’s sanctified code-conjurers. These wizards, custodians of digital sorcery, find themselves pocketing a pittance-half, or thereabouts-of what shiny-eyed recruiters proffer. The report, a lament in ledger form, confirms what every disillusioned developer knew but dared not tweet: they’re paid like paupers at a techno-feast.
Ah, behold the classic chart pattern-the inverse head-and-shoulders-that dares to dream of $170,000 to $360,000 in this cycle. Because what’s life without a little optimism and some technical mumbo-jumbo?
The U.S. Consumer Price Index (CPI) for August 2025 has risen by 2.9% year-over-year-the highest since January. Shockingly, this matches what economists predicted. Core CPI, which ignores food and energy prices because they’re too “moody,” stayed steady at 3.1%. No surprises there, just like your uncle’s annual Thanksgiving monologue.
