What’s wild? Whales aren’t all huddled in the same corner. They’re splashing out on privacy coins, DEXs, and even SocialFi projects-like crypto’s answer to a buffet. Who knew whale herding could be this entertaining?
Yes, but hark! Coinbase proclaims the donation flowed through a nonprofit, alongside a chorus of other companies. They swear on their ledger, they had no hand in the ballroom’s grand waltz. 💃
This drama is heating up ahead of Bittensor’s first halving, the crypto equivalent of a surprise birthday party. Everyone’s speculating, and TAO’s technicals are screaming “bullish” louder than my ex’s LinkedIn updates. 🚀
Brace yourselves-the cheeky JTO is forming a bullish flag pattern! It’s like a sneaky little flag waving at a potential adventure if the buying fairies sprinkle some magic dust!
But hold your dog treats, folks! Despite DOGE’s mini-moonwalk, derivatives data says its momentum might be running on fumes. 🚗💨 According to CoinGlass (yes, that’s a thing), open interest and trading volume for DOGE futures have nosedived faster than a golden retriever into a mud puddle. 🌊 Total open interest? Down 65% from its October 7 peak of $5.03 billion to a measly $1.70 billion on November 1. Ouch. 😬 Trading volume? Plummeted 74% since October 11, now sitting at $1.34 billion. That’s a 51% drop in 24 hours-talk about a crash diet! 🍽️
Bloomberg, that trusty old news scribe, dropped a report saying Saylor’s got his eye on the prize-raising the yield on those preferred shares to 10.5%, a tidy increase of 25 basis points. It’s like telling your bartender, “Pour another round, but make it rain.” 💸
This warp-speed increase in value followed the launch of the Safello Bittensor Staked TAO ETP (ticker: STAO), courtesy of Deutsche Digital Assets (who probably think “digital” and “assets” sound even cooler together) and Safello (which, as far as we know, doesn’t make pies). They unveiled this stellar offering on Wednesday.
At the time of writing (aka, my coffee break), Ethereum is lounging around $3,846, teetering above the crucial $3,802 support area like a stiletto on a slippery dance floor. Market observers (aka, the crypto gossip squad) are all like, “Ooh, this level is the hotspot for traders and investors alike.” 🕵️♀️ Will it hold? Or will ETH faceplant into the dip? 🍾→🤦♀️
The esteemed Secretary Bessent, yes, he of the US Treasury, found himself… impressed. By Singapore, naturally. Their adoption of these digital curiosities, these ‘stablecoins’, caught his attention. As if the fate of nations hinged upon whether a digital coin wobbled or not! He even paid attention to their… method of digital assets. Friday, of all days. A meeting with Prime Minister Wong, officially documented, of course, directly from the US Department of the Treasury. A veritable avalanche of officialdom! One suspects a great deal of tea was consumed. ☕
T3 FCU reports a rise in “wrench attacks”, violent physical coercion used to steal cryptocurrency, marking a dangerous shift from purely digital crimes to real-world violence. 💥
