Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Tears, Triumphs & Trader Tantrums 🎢💸

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The past few days have been rather like watching a particularly ill-mannered debutante at her first ball-bitcoin stumbled, lurched, and dragged its altcoin companions into the depths of multi-month lows with all the grace of a drunken uncle at Christmas.

Analysts, those tireless soothsayers of the digital age, are now engaged in a spirited debate over whether the cryptocurrency has finally settled at $94,000 after an unceremonious $13,000 evacuation in three days. One imagines them clutching their pearls and reaching for the smelling salts.

The Final Act of This Farce?

BTC, that most tempestuous of assets, delights in its volatility-particularly when observed by the staid denizens of TradFi, who consider a 2% swing the height of financial debauchery. Bitcoin has, admittedly, matured since its youth, when a 30% daily crash was considered merely “Tuesday.” Yet it still insists on these theatrical plunges, made all the more dramatic by its current lofty valuation. Percentage-wise, of course, yesterday’s little tantrum was but a footnote in its long history of histrionics.

Some analysts dismissed Friday’s performance as mere light entertainment, while others-ever the pessimists-insist the main event is yet to come, with predictions of a descent to $74,000. Merlijn The Trader, never one to miss an opportunity for dramatic pronouncement, noted the existence of a CME gap at $92,000-those pesky little voids that bitcoin simply must fill, like a social climber determined to attend every tedious party of the season.

BITCOIN, LIKE A SOCIETY MATRON WITH TOO MUCH TIME AND MONEY, SIMPLY MUST FILL EVERY GAP.

$97K: DONE. (HOW QUAINT.)
$92K: NEXT? (HOW PREDICTABLE.)

Final shakeouts are brutal-rather like being cut at Ascot.
But once they’re done…

Bitcoin rises when everyone’s too busy weeping into their champagne.

– Merlijn The Trader (@MerlijnTrader) November 15, 2025

The Optimist’s Delusion

Having predicted this charming little retracement to $92,000, our dear Merlijn then suggested-with the wild optimism of a man who’s had one too many at his club-that this might be precisely the catalyst for another triumphant rally. In another missive, he declared Phase E confirmed, with Wyckoff’s blueprint having “played out to perfection,” as if describing some tedious drawing-room comedy.

“This is where the clever money quietly reloads…
While the common herd bays for cheaper prices.

The cycle repeats like a bad West End revival.
The question is: will you be in the front row this time?”

Not content with this performance, Merlijn then drew attention to BTC’s dwindling exchange reserves-now at a thrilling new all-time low. He described this combination of disappearing supply and price pullback as “the perfect storm,” though one suspects he’d find a perfect storm in his tea leaves if he stared at them long enough.

BULLISH OMEN (OR PERHAPS JUST INDIGESTION):

BITCOIN EXCHANGE RESERVES HAVE PLUMMETED
TO LEVELS UNSEEN SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.

SUPPLY VANISHES LIKE A DUKE’S FORTUNE.
PRICE RETREATS LIKE A CHASTENED SUITOR.

THIS RARE COMBO CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING:
EITHER CATASTROPHE OR TRIUMPH-
AND WE ALL KNOW WHICH MAKES BETTER COPY.

– Merlijn The Trader (@MerlijnTrader) November 15, 2025

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2025-11-15 14:37