Bitcoin’s grinding tape? More like a treadmill that’s been on for 12 years, and it’s still just walking at a snail’s pace. 🐌 Alex Thorn, Galaxy’s research head, says it’s “evolving” because the market’s “changing hands.” Oh, great, now it’s a game of musical chairs with crypto. 🎵
Bitcoin Bull Run Gone Quiet: Here’s Why
The researcher claims the problem is “exogenous”-like, obviously, the US-China trade war. Because nothing says “market maturity” like a 100% tariff threat. 🇺🇸🇨🇳 He calls the price action “crab,” which I guess means it’s moving sideways but pretending it’s a sprint. 🦀
Bitcoin isn’t acting like gold yet? Oh, because gold is clearly the more exciting investment. Who needs a digital asset when you can just hoard physical metal? 🏛️ But hey, “marginal flows” are treating BTC like risk. Which, honestly, is the only thing keeping it from becoming a 100% meme. 🎭
Old hands are “distributing” to new ones? That’s just a fancy way of saying “old timers are finally giving up their Bitcoin to the masses.” Like a parent finally handing over the car keys. 🚗 “Healthy”? Sure, if you consider a slow bleed of wealth “healthy.”
Gold’s “offshore” strength? Because nothing says “global crisis” like foreign banks buying gold while Americans stare at their crypto charts. 🌍 He says Bitcoin will “trade like gold” when institutions take over. Which is just code for “when the ETFs get approved and the hype dies down.” 🧊
The Fed meeting? Not a big deal. Because nothing says “market stability” like a central bank that’s always two steps behind. 🧠 And the tariff scare? Oh, that’s the real catalyst. Because nothing says “economic recovery” like a trade war. 🚧
Galaxy Lowers EOY Bitcoin Price Prediction
Galaxy dropped their target from $185k to $130k. Still a lot, but at least they’re not predicting $10k anymore. 📉 Thorn’s “slow, volatile stair-step” sounds like a gym membership. You’re “progressing,” but you’re still broke. 🏋️♂️
Institutional adoption? “The era of the early Bitcoin adopter is ending.” Finally! Now we can all just buy ETFs and pretend we’re not part of the “early adopter” club. 🏁
AI capex? Sounds like a tech bubble waiting to happen. Or maybe the next big thing. Who knows? 🤖
The base case? “Endurance.” Which is just a fancy way of saying “it’s not dead, but it’s not alive either.” Like a zombie. 🧟♂️
At press time, BTC traded at $111,183. Which is still more than my savings. 😭
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2025-10-24 14:24