Bitcoin’s Big 2026 Heist? Wall Street’s Wild Ride & a $15.6M Presale!

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If you thought Bitcoin was just for crypto bros with beanie hats, think again! Wall Street’s Jordi Visser, a veteran who’s probably never lost a game of chess, claims traditional finance will “ramp up Bitcoin allocations” by 2026. Because nothing says “confidence” like betting the farm on a digital ledger. 🚀

During a chat with Anthony Pompiliano (because who needs sleep when you can talk crypto?), Visser dropped this bombshell:

“Between now and the end of the year, the allocations for Bitcoin for next year, from the traditional finance world, are going to increase. That is going to happen.”

-Jordi Visser, Official Youtube Interview (probably filmed in a room with 100% recycled optimism)

Pompiliano, ever the optimist, chimed in: “All the bears are wrong and they’re going to cry.” Because what’s better than a bear market? A bear market with a side of tears. 😢

But hold your horses-Visser admits Bitcoin’s been stuck in neutral, like a snail on a treadmill. “Low investor activity and market stagnation” are the culprits, but hey, maybe the bears are just taking a coffee break. ☕

Enter Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER), the $15.6M presale that’s supposedly going to turbocharge Bitcoin’s transactions. Because who doesn’t want faster, cheaper Bitcoin? Just don’t ask why it’s called “Hyper” when it’s still based on a blockchain. 🤷♂️

Q4: Bitcoin’s “I’m Back, Bitches” Moment

Bitcoin’s been chilling in the $100K-$123K range since December, occasionally dropping to $80K to flex. But Q4? That’s when the magic happens. Investors and institutions will flock in like seagulls to a dropped sandwich. 🍞

Strategy, the company with 638,460 BTC (worth $74B), is leading the charge. Second-place MARA Holdings? They’ve got 52,477 BTC. That’s less than 10% of Strategy’s stash. For context, MARA’s treasury could buy a small island. Strategy’s could buy the entire Caribbean. 🏝️

Michael Saylor, Strategy’s co-founder, recently tweeted, “Bitcoin is more interesting than the Magnificent 7.” Because what’s more thrilling than seven of the most valuable companies in the world? A digital Ponzi scheme, obviously. 💸

He followed it up with a tweet claiming MSTR outperformed the Mag 7 by 91%. Because nothing says “trust me” like a 91% return and a LinkedIn profile that’s 90% crypto jargon. 📊

Meanwhile, Bitcoin Hyper is here to solve Bitcoin’s “slow as molasses” problem. Let’s just say if Bitcoin is a snail, Hyper is a rocket. 🐌🚀

Why Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER) Is the Fastest Way to Riches (Probably)

Bitcoin’s 7 TPS is basically the tech equivalent of a dial-up modem. Ethereum? 15 TPS. Solana? 900 TPS. Bitcoin Hyper? Let’s just say it’s not going to be winning any races… but hey, at least it’s trying! 🏁

Hyper’s Canonical Bridge and Solana Virtual Machine are the unsung heroes here. They mint your BTC into Hyper’s Layer 2, let you transact instantly, and forget about waiting hours for a transaction to go through. Because who has time for that? 🕒

The presale is already at $15.6M, and if you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering, “Should I invest?” Here’s the answer: If you’ve got $0.012915 to spare, go for it. By 2030, $HYPER could be $1.50… or it could be a digital paperweight. Your call. 🎲

So, read our guide on how to buy $HYPER, sprint to the presale page, and don’t forget to check your mattress for loose change. Because when the Bitcoin train leaves the station, you don’t want to be stuck on a bicycle. 🚂💨

This isn’t financial advice. It’s just a friendly nudge from someone who’s definitely not a financial advisor. Do your own research (DYOR), or don’t. We’re not your parents. 🤑

Authored by Bogdan Patru, Bitcoinist – https://bitcoinist.com/tradfi-to-increase-bitcoin-allocations-this-year-as-bitcoin-hyper-surges

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2025-09-14 14:16