Bitcoin’s $80K Bottom: Are BTC Bulls Really Back or Just Another Illusion?

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Ah, Bitcoin. The digital currency that promises both fortune and despair in equal measure. Traders, trembling at the speed of the latest capitulation event, have been left scratching their heads since late 2022. But fear not, dear reader! According to some mysterious “market analyst,” a historical treasure map of data points to $80,000 as the so-called “bottom.” Hold on tight, this is where things get spicy!

Key takeaways:

  • One Bitcoin analyst, apparently having a good laugh, suggests there’s a 91% chance that BTC won’t ever close below these current lows. Will they be right? Who knows. 🤷‍♂️

  • The mystical NVT Golden Cross hints that Bitcoin’s market cap might be wildly undervalued, like that old painting you bought at a yard sale. Look out for short-term long positions. ⬆️

  • Arthur Hayes, in all his wisdom, believes liquidity signals and a rapid recovery are waving the $80,000-$85,000 floor flag high. Keep your eyes on the prize… or the pitfall. 😏

Capitulation Volume: The Hail Mary of Bitcoin’s “High-Probability” Bottom

Enter Astronomer, the self-proclaimed Bitcoin oracle. Apparently, the current bearish vibes of “wait for the trend” or “the bull cycle has ended” are coming at the worst possible time. Just as things look darkest, the light of truth shines through (or perhaps it’s just another false dawn). ✨

Based on his capitulation-volume model (because who doesn’t love a good model?), he reveals that previous cycle bottoms have followed a beautiful pattern: three red candles, stacked like pancakes, followed by glorious reversals. Can you feel the tension? Bitcoin Capitulation

Historically, 11 instances of this pattern have led to a mostly happy ending: two out of eleven times, BTC surged 35%, while eight out of eleven times, the pattern signaled a wild ride to new all-time highs. Only once did it end in a disappointing downward spiral. Talk about a statistical outlier. 🎲

The prediction? A 91% chance of BTC hitting $118,000, a 99% chance of reaching $112,000, and a 75% likelihood of continuing the glorious bull run. Forget your worries, and maybe just enjoy the ride. 🎢

Yet Astronomer warns us, the real trap is sentiment-don’t be fooled into selling or waiting for trend confirmation. It’s just a game of musical chairs with everyone chasing that next local high. Be wary, my friends. 💼

Meanwhile, the NVT Golden Cross dips to -1.6, which usually signals Bitcoin is undervalued-though our dear crypto trader, Darkfost, urges caution with leverage. No one wants to be caught with their pants down. 👖

Bitcoin NVT Golden Cross

Arthur Hayes: “$80K Is The Floor, Deal With It”

Ah, Arthur Hayes, the crypto sage. He claims that BTC’s recent plunge to $80,500 is definitely the cycle floor. Why? Because he sees the end of the Federal Reserve’s tightening cycle and the beginning of rising US bank lending. It’s all about liquidity, baby! 💸

Hayes, in his infinite wisdom, anticipates a “rising-tide effect” for crypto, just like how you feel when you find $5 in your old jeans. Expect some dips below $90K, maybe a slight dip into the low $80Ks, but mark my words, $80K will hold strong. His faith in liquidity is so unshakeable, you’d think he was holding a sacred relic. 🏛️

Onchain data backs him up-BTC just saw the largest net realized loss since FTX collapsed, yet the market flipped back to positive faster than you can say “Bitcoin bounce.” This fast absorption of forced sellers suggests the market has shaken off the weak hands, leaving only the strong to defend that coveted $80,000-$85,000 zone. Let the battle begin! ⚔️

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2025-11-25 00:15