Bitcoin Spikes, Fed Cuts Rates, and the Universe Finally Makes Sense!

by

Bitcoin, the digital equivalent of a poorly funded sci-fi novel, briefly rocketed above $93,000 in response to the Federal Reserve’s decision to cut interest rates by 25 basis points. 🚀💸

This is the third consecutive cut of this year. It brings the target federal funds rate down to around 3.50 %-3.75 %. A rate so low, it’s practically a discount on existential dread. 🤯

This has brought policy closer to the Fed’s long-term view of neutral (3%). A number so small, it’s basically a secret handshake between economists and the void. 🧠

No surprises

By and large, markets and economists were expecting the Federal Reserve to cut rates by 25 basis points on Dec. 10. A move so predictable, even a parrot could have guessed it. 🦜

As of just before the meeting, the probability of a 25‑bp cut was widely estimated at around 90 %. A statistic so precise, it’s like counting the number of times a cat will knock over a vase in the next hour. 🐱

Morgan Stanley, J.P. Morgan, Bank of America, and other major firms revised or affirmed forecasts of a quarter‑point reduction. Because nothing says “financial stability” like a group of bankers agreeing on something. 🧙‍♂️

Inflation has shown signs of moderating in late 2025. Core measures like PCE and CPI were trending down slightly. It’s like watching a snail try to sprint-slow, but at least it’s moving. 🐌

Even though the labor market remains tight, indicators like sluggish wage growth show that the economy is cooling. GDP growth, retail sales, and industrial production showed some slowing. It’s the economic equivalent of a toddler taking a nap. 😴

However, it should be noted that the vote was not unanimous. Austan Goolsbee and Jeffrey Schmid preferred to keep the rate unchanged. In the meantime, Stephen Miran (unsurprisingly) preferred to cut the rate by 50 basis points. A debate so heated, it’s like a group of people arguing over whether to turn off the lights. 🧨

Read More

2025-12-10 22:31