Bitcoin Crash? Analyst Warns “$60K or Bust” – Is the End Near? 😱💸

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Ah, the charming world of cryptocurrency – where fortunes are made overnight and lost just as swiftly! Since the glorious early October days, Bitcoin (BTC) has waned like a sad soufflĂŠ, plunging from an all-too-optimistic $126,000 to a modest $90,000. 🎢

Enter Mr. Wall Street, the oracle of doom, who kindly informed us that BTC is gearing up for a deathspiral after one last gasp at $100,000. According to him, a sinister cocktail of macroeconomic malaise, Federal Reserve’s… leisurely pace, and technical signals has set the stage for an impending crypto catastrophe. Who knew charts could be so melodramatic? 📉

Breaking News: Bitcoin’s Technical Heartbreaking Levels Shattered

In his magnum opus of market despair, Mr. Wall Street declared that he was bearish on Bitcoin since the dawn of November – apparently a date of despair in his calendar! He blames starting 2025 for the economy’s slow death, thanks to politicians who preferred golf over action. The latest employment figures and inflation stats are basically shouting “Help!” but the Fed? Oh, they’re busy playing hard to get, citing inflated figures caused by tariffs and political chaos. Classic! 😅

His prognosis? Delay, delay, delay, and then disaster. The only thing left to save the day would be a global liquidity flood of trillions – because who needs gradual easing when you can dive straight into chaos? Until then, Bitcoin and pals will keep drifting downward, like a sad balloon deflating in the wind.

On the technical front, dear reader, Bitcoin’s bullish structure has already taken its last breath: weekly closes below the 50-week EMA, a monthly MACD crossover straight from the horror movie archives, and bearish divergence on the RSI – a trio of signals so ominous, they’d make Dracula blink. 🧛‍♂️

The world’s economic stress test is in full swing: US repo markets are thick with desperation, tech stocks are feeling the heat, and potential Japanese rate hikes threaten to unspool carry trades faster than you can say “margin call.” It’s like a financial soap opera, but with less charm and more despair. 😆

The Crystal Ball: Bitcoin’s Grim Roadmap to 2026

Mr. Wall Street dismisses recent Fed bond purchases as mere “child’s play,” insisting it’s no new policy – just a brief respite before the storm. While he still holds a romantic notion that Bitcoin is a scarce treasure benefiting from ample money printing, he warns us not to get overly excited: the fall from grace is far from over.

He predicts Bitcoin will poke its head back near $100,000 – only to fall like a miser’s hopes – first to $68,000-$74,000, then plunging further to $54,000-$60,000 by late 2026. Ah, sweet dreams of moonshots! 🌙

Meanwhile, fellow crypto prophet Doctor Profit echoes the gloom: “Bitcoin remains in a strong bear market and we have not bottomed out yet.” The only thing certain in this saga? That the fun is just beginning. 🎭

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2025-12-15 17:56