By Jove, it appears the chaps in pinstripes have decided to bolt from the crypto circus faster than Jeeves dodges a poorly aimed cricket ball. According to the latest tittle-tattle from CoinShares, institutional investors have chucked a staggering $1.73 billion in Bitcoin and crypto assets out the window in a mere seven days. Dash it all, that’s enough to make a fellow’s monocle pop!
The exodus, old sport, is the most colossal since mid-November of 2025, when the only thing falling faster than crypto prices was Aunt Agatha’s approval of my latest scheme involving a trained otter and a jar of marmalade.
Bitcoin, the old stalwart, led the charge with $1.09 billion in outflows. Ethereum, not to be outdone, shed $630 million, while XRP waved goodbye to a modest $18.2 million. One can’t help but wonder if they’re all off to join a gentlemen’s club where the only currency is a stiff upper lip.
Meanwhile, Solana, the plucky underdog, managed to attract $17.1 million in inflows. BNB and Chainlink also scraped together a few crumbs, with $4.6 million and $3.8 million respectively. Short-Bitcoin products, bless their cotton socks, drew a mere $0.5 million-hardly enough to fill the petrol tank of my aunt’s vintage Rolls.
Regionally, the Yanks took the cake in outflows, hemorrhaging nearly $1.8 billion. Sweden and the Netherlands, not to be left out, lost $11.1 million and $4.4 million, respectively. One imagines they’re all muttering about the weather and hoping no one notices their wallets are lighter than a debutante’s dance card.
But fear not, for there’s a silver lining! Switzerland, Canada, and Germany bucked the trend, adding $32.5 million, $33.5 million, and $19.1 million, respectively. Clearly, they’ve got more backbone than a platoon of Guardsmen at a royal parade.
CoinShares, those clever chaps, attribute this kerfuffle to market downturns, fading hopes for interest rate cuts, and negative price momentum. Or, as Jeeves would put it, “The financial stars are not aligned, sir, and the gentlemen are behaving like startled stoats.”
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2026-01-26 18:41