Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: Stay Toxic, Queen

This episode featured lots of references to competitive sports, but the biggest competition was for the title of ‘most difficult person’ on the boat. Kizzi and Joe were the frontrunners and ultimately ‘won.’ Seeing that V was both physically sick and emotionally struggling around the anniversary of Bon’s death, Sandy generously gave her time off to rest at a hotel – something V would never ask for herself. Nathan helped prompt this by pointing out V wasn’t improving. As soon as V was gone, Joe started causing trouble. Before leaving, V heartbreakingly said, ‘Don’t change anything, I’ll be right back.’

It’s incredibly cruel to take advantage of someone who’s vulnerable and hurting. Kizzi and Joe start flirting while V is still around, though mostly absent. After Kizzi turns down David, explaining she can’t risk her job, she confides in Joe that she seems to attract men who are overly dependent. Joe playfully admits to being one of them, and Kizzi jokingly calls him an idiot for being tied down. In that moment, they both recognize a shared, somewhat cynical side to each other – a darkness they find strangely appealing, and spend the rest of the episode acknowledging and enjoying.

The final charter of the day went well. With only three charters remaining this season, the crew was working together effectively, but Max, still upset about not being the lead deckhand, was looking to cause trouble. The Bravado needed to move to a smaller marina due to the America’s Cup, so Sandy stressed the importance of careful docking. Despite a previous issue with the bow thruster, she decided to back into an even tighter space again. After overseeing Max as he raised the anchor—during which he made a funny radio mistake, saying “two a.m.” instead of “two o’clock,” and later confusingly asked Cathy if she was “robbing to plan a bank”—Nathan informed Max that Sandy wanted him to use hand signals to indicate distances during docking.

As they neared the marina, Max deliberately started causing trouble. He refused simple requests from Sandy, like standing up or speaking on the radio. When Nathan asked him to cooperate, Max was argumentative, pointing out Sandy was already with him and telling Nathan to relax. He began calling out distances over the radio when Sandy asked him to use hand signals instead. Although the boat was docked safely, Max’s behavior made the process unnecessarily difficult, frustrating Sandy and infuriating Nathan. Later, Max tried to explain himself, but Nathan wasn’t interested in his excuses and reassigned him to the stern for the rest of the season. It was a strong leadership move by Nathan – he was firm but respectful. While I’d been defending Max all season, I have to admit he was out of line; he can’t just ignore instructions. However, any annoyance I felt quickly disappeared when Max revealed in a private interview that his grandfather was a member of the French Resistance during World War II, explaining his lifelong difficulty with authority.

Okay, so things are getting interesting with Kizzi and Joe! They were totally flirting during the tip meeting – it was so obvious! Poor V was right there and looked completely mortified. Luckily, everyone got a great tip – $1,682 each from a $20,000 total! Then Sandy announced we’re going to the Alinghi Red Bull Racing Headquarters on our day off, which sounds like something out of a video game, but it’s actually where they train. Right after that, V left, and Kizzi was just starting to tell Cathy she’s not interested in anything with Joe when V came back to say goodbye. And then Cathy admitted she’s not really thinking about anything with Max, that hopeless romantic – she’s just going with the flow.

During dinner, Aesha got upset talking about missing her fiancé, Scott, and hinted that working on yachts might make it hard to start a family. Everyone also noticed Kizzi and Joe flirting, which frustrated Nathan, Aesha, and Josh. Nathan was already worried about V, and he became concerned that a possible breakup between V and Joe would cause problems on deck so close to the end of the season. He told Joe he shouldn’t pursue things with Kizzi, but it was clear from the hot tub that they were already involved and weren’t listening to warnings.

Kizzi and Joe were the last to leave the hot tub, realizing they should probably go to bed. However, they continued drinking and lingering, seemingly enjoying the thrill of being secretive. It was clear this behavior was exciting for both of them. Joe ironically says, “Victoria doesn’t deserve disrespect,” after a night of exactly that. Eventually, they head to their cabins. The camera is positioned perfectly to film them, but they deliberately move just out of view. Kizzi tells Joe, “Don’t kiss me,” adding, “I can’t lie.” Immediately after, kissing sounds are heard. The camera focuses on the boat’s reflective surfaces, showing the tops of their heads very close together – leaving no question that they kissed. Joe, worried the camera caught them, tries to adjust it as soon as he sees it. A frustrated cameraman rushes downstairs, only to find they’ve already pulled apart.

Kizzi and Joe immediately vowed to keep what happened a secret, and Max and Cathy decided to do the same. While I don’t enjoy seeing intimacy on reality TV, Max’s ‘oh la la’ during the act was amusing. The next morning, when Josh pressed Kizzi for details, she claimed nothing happened. Joe pretended to have no memory of the night, which I doubt – he didn’t seem that intoxicated, but it’s a convenient way for him to appear regretful and claim a lack of control if necessary. You have to admire his nerve. Kizzi admitted in a private interview that her plan was to simply deny everything. She hoped that if no one knew about the kiss, V wouldn’t find out, conveniently forgetting they were being filmed. Even if V doesn’t learn about it immediately, she will eventually, and it’s likely worse for this to come out when it’s not being filmed, as there would be less reason to try and fix things.

Throughout the episode, Kizzi treats her interview sessions like a private diary, seeming to believe everything she says will stay confidential. Earlier, she jokingly analyzed herself like a therapist, admitting to enjoying self-deception. Now, when discussing a kiss, she almost seems to think anything happening on the show can be kept secret. The next day, Joe pretends he doesn’t remember anything happening, asking Kizzi what went on. She downplays it, saying it was just a quick kiss. In a private interview, she admits she doesn’t regret the kiss itself, only that it happened at a bad time, while their friend V was feeling down. Later, Joe calls his mom to talk about what happened, and she comforts him, dismissing V’s feelings and generally taking his side. That conversation suddenly made a lot about Joe’s behavior clear.

There’s a lot of genuine connection happening at the Alinghi training base. Aesha is completely overwhelmed with emotion when Scott unexpectedly shows up, and honestly, it made me tear up too. Scott organized the visit with Sandy and stayed with the crew all night, demonstrating a deep bond of affection and respect that’s inspiring. Max admires their relationship and hopes he can find something similar with Cathy, although she’s encouraged him to be emotionally detached. She does, however, admit she appreciates his efforts to make her feel special. Nathan, meanwhile, is still thinking about Gael, and he chooses a restaurant for dinner that they visited together last summer. Back on the Bravado, he tells the guys he’s determined to make things work with her after the season and seems really hopeful. Seeing love flourish has given him the motivation to fight for what he wants.

Nathan is about to face a challenge unexpectedly soon. While the crew enjoys a flamenco show – which Josh finds inspiring – Sandy is arranging a replacement for V for the next charter. We find out before Nathan does that Gael will be the replacement, and Nathan is completely shocked, whether that’s good or bad news for him. He’s officially shifting his focus from the messy situation between Joe and Kizzi to his own problems.

Joe, however, isn’t happy about it – he and Gael clashed last season. He’s also increasingly upset by V’s texts, like “I miss you,” and her inquiries to Kizzi about life on the boat. In private, both Joe and Kizzi pretend to feel bad, but they’re clearly amused. When Joe jokes about telling V about their kiss, Kizzi’s reaction makes him laugh – he seems to find the whole situation a joke. I’m convinced he’s playing a game. It would be amazing if V decided to get revenge on him for the rest of the season, just like in John Tucker Must Die.

Unfortunately, not everyone handles things as well as Aesha and Scott, leaving us with typical high school drama unfolding in the middle of the Mediterranean.

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2025-12-16 05:56