Hey there fellow film enthusiasts! Step aboard for an exciting voyage as we set sail on the grand yacht, the Katina, traversing the stunning turquoise seas of the Seychelles. I’m beyond excited to be here; just like acclaimed director Steven Soderbergh, Below Deck Down Under is my go-to Bravo series! This season seems packed with tears, seasickness, accidents, fierce winds, internal and external department squabbles, dismissals, and a whole lot of tension. We’re back under the command of Captain Jason, sporting his signature mullet, along with returning cast members Chef Tzarina (now sporting a new brunette look) and deckhand Harry, who’s as charming as Alain Delon in the Bravo world. The majority of the crew this season is fresh-faced and new to the show, including:
- Chief stew Lara, named after a horse (?), has been in the yachting industry for 13 years. Lara is replacing the widely beloved Aesha Scott, whose warmth and good spirits she doesn’t seem to share. Tzarina and Lara know each other from a former season on Antigua, during which they butted heads — hardly an auspicious sign given that 90 percent of the success of service lies in a good relationship between the kitchen and chief stew. Still, Tzarina wants to room together — she views Lara as “the cool girl” — and though she hesitates, musing that Tzarina is like Weird Barbie or Vegemite, among other creative insults, Lara ultimately agrees.
- Bosun Wihan, from South Africa, whose humble arrival doesn’t do much to dispel the cloud of awkwardness that immediately hangs over the deck crew, all strangers to one another. When deckhand Johnny (more on this character below) makes suggestions on how to run the cleaning of the boat, Wihan takes them in stride — he doesn’t yet seem tyrannical, particularly not compared to last season’s infamous João, but from the preview, it looks as though waters will get rough …
- Johnny “I Grind to Be Better Than You,” a Napoleonic deckhand who introduces himself to Harry and Adair as “lead deckhand,” even though such a position does not exist on the Katina. After Harry asks Wihan for clarification, Wihan calls a deck meeting to emphasize that there is no lead deckhand. Johnny is disappointed but understanding. Something about his misfire, I hate to say, endears him to me. He’s giving Kronk.
- Adair, a deck-stew from Georgia who will be dividing her time between the two departments, which already seems like a disastrous plan for a boat this big. Petite and bubbly, she keeps to herself for the most part of this episode. As of now, her only flaw has been introducing herself as Truth or Adair, an awful thing to witness.
- Stew Brianna is a model who is newish to yachting and has a truly enviable mane of copper hair. For the first charter, Lara puts Brianna on housekeeping, the lowest rung in the interior hierarchy. I suspect she will do a good job, though, because she knows what a luxury room is supposed to look like: She is a self-identified “Four Seasons girl.” The way she speaks about her dad reminds me of Below Deck season 11’s Barbie, though Brianna doesn’t have the same snappy attitude.
- To round out the interior department, we have Marina, my compatriot! Marina introduces herself as a “true Brazilian,” meaning “quite bossy” and “knows what she wants.” Those qualities seem to me less Brazilian — uh, speak for yourself — than the fact that she has 13 cousins. One thing that will always unite the Brazilian people is to be Brazilian among gringos, so my loyalties are set here.
- Finally, we have sous-chef Anthony. Having help is new to Tzarina, who struggled last season in the Northern Sun’s miniature kitchen. Anthony comes from experience with a Michelin-starred chef, and though at first Tzarina is optimistic about having another Brit in the kitchen, tension rises quickly between them. When Tzarina sits him down so they can get to know each other, he takes issue with her approach. He doesn’t want to list his strengths and weaknesses and resents the “interrogation,” which sets off a million alarm bells for Tzarina. His reaction is bizarre; she leads with curiosity and openness, and he shuts her down with hostility and disrespect. He doesn’t look too pleased to be reminded that he is her subordinate.
After everyone has boarded and been introduced, Captain Jason convenes a meeting and encourages a family-like atmosphere among the crew, referring to them all as “brothers and sisters,” despite their recent acquaintance. Both the deck and interior crews gather, expressing positive intentions for the upcoming season, although it’s understood that initial optimism can easily fade. While Lara and Captain Jason work on service logistics, such as the kitchen being located at the boat’s bottom, several flights of stairs from the sundeck, Tzarina and Anthony discover a revolting infestation of weevils and maggots in the kitchen drawers. Prompting the entire crew to assist in sanitizing the galley. Once this unpleasant task is completed, they can proceed to their first preference-sheet meeting. The primary charter guest is Mark, an investor from Brisbane accompanied by his vegan girlfriend Megan, whose demands appear reasonable: They require water toys and a diverse culinary menu. However, before the guests arrive, the crew must have lunch, with Anthony responsible for its preparation. Tzarina offers some cooking advice to Anthony, which he perceives as micromanagement, another instance of what might be considered an excessive reaction.
As the guests arrive, it’s clear that everyone is finding the Seychelles’ heat and humidity overwhelming, except for Marina who seems accustomed to it due to her sweltering hometown being known as “Hell de Janeiro” among locals. Mark and his group appear to be typical wealthy individuals. However, their behavior starts to become unsettling when they unpack their belongings, which include sex toys, despite everyone else assuming them to be regular travel items. Poor Brianna is tasked with handling their “anal beads,” which she places near some motion sickness medication on the primary’s bedside table, following Lara’s advice.
As I eagerly await dinner with Tzarina and Lara, old conflicts resurface between us, leading predictably to a power struggle: We both aspire to lead, each with valid claims as heads of our departments. It’s crucial we cooperate, but in reality TV lingo, that’s easier said than done. For tonight’s meal, Tzarina has designed an inventive four-course menu, packed with not one or two, but three distinct soups – perfect for the humid weather. Unfortunately, the disarray begins with the service: Lara fails to realize the guests will be enjoying soup for three hours and doesn’t set out the appropriate cutlery. While she should have clarified the ingredients of tom kha gai with Tzarina, it seems unreasonable to assume it’s not soup given the other courses are also soup.
As dinner preparations are underway aboard the ship, John finds himself stranded on a Jet Ski without a key or radio as the sun begins to dip below the horizon, pushing him further and further away from the vessel named “Katina”. With no other recourse, he resorts to whistling in hopes someone will notice his absence. By the time Harry starts to worry that John should have returned by now, it’s already grown dark. On his way to rescue John using a smaller boat, Harry can’t help but point out that it was the deckhand who failed to check if John had keys before untying the Jet Ski – a mistake typical of newcomers. Captain Jason decides to overlook this incident for now, provided it doesn’t happen again. Upon returning to the ship, John feels embarrassed and tries to lift his spirits by admiring his biceps in the mirror of his cabin – they’re still there!
Serving dinner proves quite a physical challenge for the team, especially Marina, responsible for carrying around 400 assorted spoons up and down the stairs. The variety of cutlery occasionally slows down service, especially during the serving of tom kha gai. However, the food is well-received by guests. Lara acknowledges her short temper towards Tzarina, who graciously accepts it’s their inaugural night and they’ll adapt. By the end of dinner, only Anthony, the dishwasher, seems to be in a less than cheerful mood.
The guests retired early, which initially appears beneficial until 7 o’clock strikes and they’re all awake, requesting various things. This is problematic as they had agreed on an 8:30 a.m. breakfast, a fact that seems to have slipped their memory. You might wonder why the vacationers are up before 9 a.m., and if it’s 8:15 a.m., having already consumed one or two coffees, why the urgency to start eating before the scheduled breakfast time? This behavior seems hasty, to say the least.
In the midst of this chaos, Lara finds herself trapped in an elevator with a vanilla latte. She’s flustered and takes each guest’s egg order before announcing the specials, which is frustrating for Tzarina, who had already prepared the specials and didn’t intend to create personalized egg dishes — the chef had informed the guests that she typically provides a spread with a few special options for breakfast, but this was before they experienced a collective lapse in memory.
Overwhelmed by the rush of the meal, Lara retreats to her room in tears.
In hindsight, I should’ve helped Tzarina with the egg orders instead of standing by. It turns out Anthony was right to question me about it. While she was working tirelessly, I could have assisted her without being asked. To my dismay, she wasn’t pleased when he suggested I help – she even called him a rude name. However, I realize now that he was trying to be helpful and proactive, which is something Tzarina could use more of in the kitchen. Tzarina tends to prefer doing things on her own, but if we want to foster a better atmosphere in the kitchen, she’ll need to be more open to receiving help.
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2025-02-04 06:55