Behind the Curtain: SEC’s Comedy of FTX Execs & the Great Crypto Cover-up

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In a plot twist straight out of a soap opera, the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has decided to play sheriff, aiming its spotlight at Caroline Ellison, former queen of Alameda Research, and her two sidekicks, Gary Wang and Nishad Singh. Yep, the folks who ran the now-not-so-thriving FTX circus. Spoiler: none of them came out smelling like roses, unless roses are code for scandal. 🌹🚨

SEC Names the Villains in the Crypto Crime Saga

On Friday, the SEC rolled out the big guns-proposed final consent judgments in a New York court, which basically means they’re about to tell these guys, “You’re guilty, but let’s make it official.” The charges against Ellison and Wang actually first appeared around Christmas 2022 (cheerful holiday news!), while Singh’s got his name in the mix since February 2023. Santa definitely dropped the bad news this year. 🎅🕵️‍♂️

The SEC claims that from May 2019 to November 2022, crypto fairy tales were spun-and over $1.8 billion was raised from eager investors who believed FTX was the Fort Knox of crypto. They basically told everyone, “Relax, your assets are safe here,” while secretly planning a magic trick to make those assets disappear faster than your paycheck after a coffee spree. ☕💸

The supposed “safety measures” were apparently as real as Bigfoot-claimed to be top-tier risk mitigation, but in reality, Ellison, Wang, and Singh were apparently busy making Alameda a crypto bank vault with fewer locks. The SEC alleges they bent the rules faster than a gymnast on the parallel bars, shielding Alameda from those pesky risk protocols. 🧗‍♀️🔒

Ellison Gets the 10-Year Time-Out

The SEC decided to give Alameda a near-infinite credit line funded by FTX’s trusting customers, because who needs boundaries? Meanwhile, Wang and Singh were busy coding the digital squirrel stash that moved customer funds from FTX to Alameda-talk about having your cake and laundering it too. Ellison? She’s accused of using these funds for personal trading and other shenanigans, all while allegedly dating the FTX boss-because, why not? Who needs boundaries in love and finance? 💑💻

To make this even juicier, Sam Bankman-Fried, the mastermind of the mess, allegedly directed hundreds of millions of dollars from customers to Alameda, which were then used for ventures, loans, and probably a yacht or two. Fancy, huh? 🚤💰

In the end, all three agreed to a court-approved slap on the wrist-without admitting guilt (classic). Ellison got hit with a 10-year ban from being a public company bigwig, while Wang and Singh received an 8-year timeout. Think of it as summer camp, but for crypto villains. 🌞🔒

Meanwhile, FTX’s token, FTT, decided to have a small rally and is trading at about half a dollar-up 6%, probably because everyone’s reading about the SEC drama and thinking, “Maybe I should buy some.” Still, at 99.3% below its all-time high, it’s basically just a sad, shy puppy trying to fetch a ball it can’t quite reach. 🐶💥

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2025-12-20 14:14