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Oh, the audacity! In the year of our Lord 2025, the Aztec network, that most enigmatic of creatures, has launched its mainnet-though not without a few… quirks. Behold, the “Ignition” mainnet, a chain that generates blocks like a clockwork marvel, yet lacks the smart contract execution layer, as if the architects were merely testing the waters with a feather duster. 🤯
According to an Aztec email, which CryptoMoon has deemed worthy of scrutiny, the network is “functional” but akin to a horse without a saddle-capable of galloping, but not of carrying a rider. 🐴
Only the trustless, optimistic rollup network Facet v1 and the ghostly Zk.Money are deemed “fully decentralized,” as if Aztec were a specter haunting the Ethereum ecosystem. 🕯️
Together with Facet, Aztec is a paragon of decentralization, with no centralized “training wheels”-a bold move, akin to letting a toddler ride a unicycle. 🎩
In an email to the mailing list, the Aztec team declared, “Neither the Foundation nor the core team can run nodes, stake, or govern for 12 months.” A declaration so bold, it’s as if they’ve handed the keys to a tavern and said, “Good luck, lads!” 🍺
Aztec, ever the enigma, has not responded to CryptoMoon’s pleas for comment. A true master of mystery. 🕵️♂️
Aztec Staking: Now Live (or Almost)
Staking is now live, allowing holders to “participate in network consensus, earn block rewards, and shape governance.” A noble endeavor, though the early participants are rewarded as if they’re the first to taste a cake that’s still in the oven. 🎂
The staking dashboard, that paragon of transparency, reveals 107.2 million AZTEC tokens staked. But wait! The investors and devs are barred from staking, as if they were mere mortals in a realm of gods. 🤡
The minimum stake? A mere 200,000 AZTEC-about $6,000. A sum so grand, it’s like buying a house with a mortgage of 100% interest. 🏠
The Ongoing Token Sale: A Spectacle of Exclusivity
Aztec’s token sale, a spectacle of exclusivity, has drawn 2,209 bidders, each whispering “I am part of the chosen!” while the rest of the world watches in envy. 🤭
Tokens will be locked for 90 days to 12 months, as if the community is a fickle lover who needs time to warm up. 🧊
Aztec claims a 75% discount on its token sale, but let us not forget the “disclaimer” warning: “Any reference to prior valuation is merely to inform.” A classic case of “trust us, we’re not liars!” 🤷♂️
On Dec. 6, a Uniswap pool will launch, containing 273 million AZTEC. A liquidity bonfire, though the secondary market’s tokens are free as a bird. 🦜
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2025-11-20 18:24