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Bitcoin ETFs bled cash Tuesday, but ether and XRP products partied like it was 2017. Investors are playing musical chairs with crypto, and Bitcoin just sat there looking confused. Classic.

His remarks arrive as the world’s largest ETH treasury’s paper losses ascend to over $6 billion, a sum that would make even the most hardened investor weep into their champagne.

In the year of our Lord 2021, when the crypto markets were aflame with the fervor of a thousand suns, MLB decided to leap into the abyss of NFTs. They partnered with the grandly named Candy Digital, a company backed by titans of industry-Michael Rubin, Mike Novogratz, and the ever-loquacious Gary Vaynerchuk. Their first offering? A Lou Gehrig speech NFT, a digital relic from 1939, as unique as a snowflake and as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Proceeds to charity, of course, for what is a farce without a touch of virtue?

With Wednesday’s arrival, crypto prices decided to calm down a bit, tracking a tentative improvement in broader risk sentiment, even as traders remained as cautious as a squirrel crossing the road.

It’s almost poetic how Bitcoin’s price is now the puppet master behind the company’s earnings narrative, investor moods, and the whole credibility of their leveraged Bitcoin treasury model. Because nothing screams “trust us” quite like a rollercoaster ride on a digital currency.

Ah, the sweet scent of irony wafts through the air! Michael Saylor’s strategy, once a beacon of hope and digital riches, now finds itself gasping for breath in the chilly waters of unrealized losses. Such misfortune comes swiftly-like a cat on a hot tin roof, Bitcoin fell below the firm’s average purchase price, leaving a trail of bewilderment in its wake.

Having begun its recovery from the $0.0950 abyss, Dogecoin has bested both Bitcoin and Ethereum, akin to a tortoise outpacing hares in a delightful fable. It ascended past the resistance levels of $0.1020 and $0.1050 as if they were mere stepping stones.