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So, the Canadian province of British Columbia (BC) is done playing nice with energy hogs. 🍁⚡ They’re permanently banning new crypto mining projects, because apparently, “digital gold” isn’t paying the hydro bills. The Energy Ministry dropped this bombshell like a mic at a poetry slam, declaring that natural gas and mining industries will get first dibs on the power grid. Why? Jobs. Money. And probably because no one wants to explain to their grandma why her heating bill is higher than her bingo winnings. 🧓💸

The documentation, released like a sacred text upon GitHub, speaks of a Router and a Slab-a duality as old as civilization itself. The Router, a guardian of collateral and margins, while the Slab, a matching engine, thrives under the watchful eyes of liquidity providers. Yet, in this design, there is both promise and peril: a single slab’s failure may not taint the whole, yet the weight of its independence looms heavy, like a shadow cast by a dying star.

It’s been a rough year for Bitcoin, folks. With a modest 15.6% increase, it barely outperformed a rather lethargic S&P 500, which is up 14.5%. A real triumph when you consider that the S&P’s market cap is $57.4 trillion (yes, trillion) – roughly 27 times larger than Bitcoin’s. Yet, in a shocking twist, Bitcoin has managed to sigh along with the index like that friend who gets invited to parties but brings nothing to the table. 🙄

The Bank of England, in a display of unprecedented urgency, apparently intends to craft some rules around stablecoins by the end of 2026. Yes, you read that right-2026! Just in time for the next decade of crypto chaos. According to an anonymous Bloomberg report, a consultation begins on Nov. 10. Because why start early when you can start fashionably late? 🕰️

Solana, dear reader, had briefly donned the crown of $200, joining Bitcoin and Ethereum in their gilded folly. But the bears, those sly foxes, arrived with their pitchforks and dragged the price back down to earth-past $200, $182, and all the way to the chilly $174 low. A feeble recovery attempt? Naturally. It climbed to the 50% Fib retracement, only to find the bears still lurking, sipping tea and guarding the 61.8% Fib like a pack of overzealous footmen.

So, Polygon’s co-founder, Sandeep Nailwal, is losing his patience. He’s been loyal to Ethereum for years but says the Ethereum Foundation has given them zero love. Yep, despite Polygon being a major player in scaling Ethereum. Talk about being the cool cousin who’s always left out of family photos! 😒

In what could be described as an almost Shakespearean turn of events, the price of XRP, after a particularly dramatic plunge, had investors bracing themselves for further misery. “Sell at a loss!” they cried, ever hopeful that the price would plummet like a lead balloon. And yet-hold onto your monocle-the token did precisely the opposite. It surged. Surpassed the $2.5 mark. For the first time in more than a week! A week, mind you! Who could have predicted such audacity? 💸