Australia’s New Crypto Law: Can They Really Catch the Bad Guys? 😂

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In the great land down under, where kangaroos hop and crypto-currencies flit about like caffeinated butterflies, Australia is putting its foot down. Yes, dear reader, they’re tightening the regulations around those sly crypto service providers, with draft legislation that promises to enforce finance sector laws faster than a boomerang returns!

Assistant Treasurer Daniel Mulino, the brave soul speaking amidst the digital dollars and cents at a crypto conference on Thursday, proclaimed the legislation as “the cornerstone of our digital asset roadmap.” No pressure, right, Mr. Mulino? This roadmap, unveiled by the Albanese Government last March, might just lead to a fully-regulated crypto utopia-or at least a place where things would be a tad less chaotic.

“This is but a mere draft,” Mulino explained, seeking feedback as desperately as a cat seeks warmth on a winter’s day. He continued, “We want to know if it’s effective and clear before we proceed.” Sounds like a plan, though I wouldn’t hold my breath! 😅

As it stands, crypto exchanges merely facilitating trades of beloved digital coins like Bitcoin (BTC) need to register with AUSTRAC-Australia’s loss-prevention squad. Interestingly, they’ve got about 400 exchanges on their registry, many of which are more inactive than a sloth on a lazy afternoon.

New Financial Products? Hold onto Your Wallet!

Now, brace yourselves; Mulino dropped an even bigger bomb! The proposed law would create two shiny new financial products, which he aptly dubbed a “digital asset platform” and a “tokenized custody platform.” I mean, who doesn’t want more acronyms in their life?

“These platforms will require an Australian Financial Services License,” he explained as if announcing a new Marvel movie. Currently, only the cool kids-those exchanges dealing in “financial products”-had to register with the business watchdog known as ASIC.

Mulino enthusiastically added that the legislation would impose “targeted rules for key activities,” referencing wrapped tokens and staking-the new buzzwords of the digital age that sound like they belong on a yoga mat. But fear not, dear crypto adventurers; safeguards will be in place to protect the innocent from slipping on banana peels of financial mishaps!

Oh, but the plot thickens! “Failures of digital asset businesses have highlighted the consumer risks,” he warned ominously, conjuring images of rogue operators stroking their evil mustaches while clutching client assets without so much as a ‘by-your-leave.’

“This is about legitimizing the good actors and shutting out the bad,” Mulino declared dramatically, as if we were in an episode of a soap opera. “It is about giving businesses certainty and consumers confidence.” You can almost hear the dramatic background music!

Be Prepared for Penalties, but the Little Fish Get a Pass

Now for the juicy part! Breaches of these newfound laws could result in penalties that would make your eyes water-up to 16.5 million Australian dollars (that’s $10.8 million for us folks who keep it simple), or three times the benefit reaped, or 10% of annual turnover-whichever hurts more. Ouch!

Yet, not all platforms will feel the heat; those dinky “smaller, low-risk” ones-those holding less than 5,000 Australian dollars ($3,300) per customer and transacting less than 10 million Australian dollars ($6.6 million) annually-will be given a pass. Lucky them! As the Treasury put it, the exemption fits nicely alongside the non-cash payment facilities, assuring us that more regulations won’t rain on anyone’s non-financial crypto parade.

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2025-09-25 04:01