A Delightful Conversation with Diane Keaton

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This interview was first published on December 14, 2020. We are sharing it again today following the passing of Diane Keaton, who was 79 years old.

While researching Nancy Meyers’ films for Vulture, I had the chance to interview several stars, including Cameron Diaz, Steve Martin, and Kieran Culkin, asking them to recall their experiences. But my conversation with Diane Keaton was truly special – wonderfully eccentric, charming, and funny. She even jokingly wondered if I’d get in trouble for a question, and at one point, playfully scolded me with a sort of poetic rant about how people behaved during the pandemic. Because it was so delightful, we decided to share the full, lightly edited interview.

That’s all for now! If you’re curious about the background, you can read Nancy Meyers’s comments on Keaton’s work in a deodorant ad here.

Hi, Diane!
Hi, how are you?

Good! I’m excited to talk to you. 
You are? Oh, you’ll get over that fast.

I don’t know exactly what your publicist told you, but we’re having a week dedicated to the films of Nancy Meyers here at Vulture. Sounds good, right?

I’ve been talking to people who worked with Nancy to learn more about their experiences with her. I spoke with Steve Martin today, and he asked me to send you his greetings. I’m a big fan of Steve!

He feels the same way about you. I really love Steve and Marty Short – they’re both wonderful! But Steve is my favorite. It’s just a shame Steve and I didn’t end up together.

Unreasonable. 
But he’s so great.

I met Nancy and her then-husband, Charles Shyer, because they were interested in me for a film project. I was already working on a movie at the time, and they approached me about it. It wasn’t a particularly memorable meeting, just a casual conversation. They both seemed like nice, charming people.

So, what were your first impressions when you started spending time with her? She’s incredibly intelligent, quick-witted, and just generally very bright – honestly, sometimes it’s a little intimidating because I don’t feel as sharp as she is. [Laughs] But I’m really grateful that she – and Charles, after a while – gave me that opportunity.

Is this Baby Boom we’re talking about?
Yeah, Baby Boom. That was really a great experience for me.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=UOpOaGdLj_8

I enjoyed the role because the character was in a really tough spot – suddenly finding out she’s pregnant and panicking about what to do. It was a fun challenge to play. And working with Sam Shepard was amazing – I had a really great time with him. [Laughs]

I was completely confident. It was actually really amusing to watch him act like he was attracted to me! I didn’t worry at all if it was difficult for him—just being there was enough fun for me. And everyone was very understanding about me awkwardly carrying the baby, which honestly felt incredibly natural. I’m sure the parents were silently thinking, ‘Could she be a little more careful?’, but no one said a word.

I’ve worked with Nancy more than any other actor she’s directed. She’s incredibly dedicated to creating a comfortable and effective working environment. Although she wasn’t the director of *Baby Boom*, she was crucial to my experience on that film, and we later collaborated on both *Father of the Bride* movies. Honestly, I was just grateful to be working at the time, as things weren’t going well in my career. While Charles directed *Father of the Bride*, Nancy was always fully engaged and attentive as my director. She meticulously planned every detail – it wasn’t a casual process. You can’t get away with shortcuts when working with her; she pushes you to exceed your own expectations and deliver your best performance, which is a really positive thing.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=pPRBodUyOh0

When working with her, directing is more challenging than writing because she takes full ownership of the project’s outcome. Nancy is incredibly detail-oriented and specific, which is a big reason why her comedies are so successful. I tend to be less meticulous, so she really keeps me on track. Honestly, I’m surprised I’ve gotten this far in my career! She has a clear vision for what she wants and guides you to achieve it, unlike me. She really thinks everything through – it’s almost unfair to the rest of us!

Can you recall any particular advice she gave you that you’ve remembered, or a favorite scene you filmed with her? I especially enjoyed the scenes where I got to kiss the male actors, and any time I could play a really angry character. For example, in *Baby Boom*, I loved the scene at the well.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?app=desktop&v=jUkqho3OUos

When I first read that scene, I immediately thought it was impossible to perform in one take – way too challenging. I recently rewatched it, actually, while she was receiving another award. It seems like Nancy gets every award out there! But seeing it reminded me of that scene. Watching it now, I was amazed at how I even managed it. There was a lot of dialogue, and then I fell back into the snow. It was all thanks to her guidance, really. Even though she wasn’t officially the director of *Baby Boom*, she was involved in every detail of every scene.

I’ve been reading a bunch of interviews, and it sounds like she really pushes actors to do lots and lots of takes! Honestly, that’s great in my book. I *want* a director who’s going to challenge me and help me improve, so bring on the takes – I need all the help I can get!

I’m sure that’s not true.
It’s true, and we’re moving on. Who cares?

What’s a line of dialogue you particularly liked saying in one of our movies together? So, you want me to recall a specific line?

Yeah!
No.

Too far back?
I don’t have a line that I carry around. I just move on, you know, into oblivion.

That’s probably healthy.
It’s not, really.

Do you recall what Diane Keaton asked you to do during the crying scene in ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ where you were writing?

Oh, I definitely remember it! It wasn’t hard to start crying because I enjoy listening to music beforehand. I’d play sad music to get into the right emotional state, and it just made me really start sobbing.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=0yi7TUsuDLM

You know, thinking about music that really gets to me, I always go back to older stuff. I was really into Bob Dylan for a while – can you believe it? It sounds strange, maybe, but those songs just hit me hard, in a good way. It’s amazing how powerful music can be, isn’t it? Just thinking about Bob Dylan… wow.

People often ask what it’s like to be on a Nancy Meyers set, but honestly, I don’t find them cozy. Most film sets are actually pretty stressful – you’re constantly worrying about doing a good job and if Nancy is pleased with your performance. As an actor, I’m always focused on how *I’m* doing, because I don’t feel like a naturally gifted performer. I really have to put in the effort to get it right.

It’s obvious she really enjoys working with you – she’s even described you as energetic and vibrant. That’s when Nancy completely lost it, because she doesn’t see herself that way.

Yes, you are.
She, on the other hand, is dynamic. So you can just put that in there.

Okay, I will.
You’re going to do me that favor?

Sure.
Good, thank you.

Someone asked what the best thing I’ve ever eaten on a Nancy Meyers movie set was. Apparently, there are lots of stories about the delicious food both in the movies and provided for the cast and crew. I actually don’t really eat while filming, though! Sorry to make this about me.

It should be about you!
It’s really not interesting.

Yes, that’s true. When I’m on set, I prefer to eat alone in my trailer, away from the hustle and bustle. It probably doesn’t make me seem very social, does it?

Rene Russo expressed a similar idea. Do you remember that long movie with Matt Damon—the one where he plays an actor who completely breaks down in a room? I thought it was brilliant, because it really captures what actors experience. They often struggle with self-doubt, feel like they’ve messed up a scene, and can become incredibly stressed. I especially loved that scene. Have you seen it?

No, I don’t know what you’re referring to.
You’ve got to see that!

It’s unusual to see a movie that realistically portrays an actor’s reaction to a bad take – the self-doubt and frustration they experience alone after feeling they’ve performed poorly. That’s something many people can relate to.

Do you still feel the same way, even after acting for so long? Yeah, sometimes a performance just doesn’t go well, and you feel terrible about it – like you just want to disappear. Honestly, I thought that scene was incredible – one of the best I’ve ever witnessed.

Okay, I’ll figure out what it is and watch it.
You better.

I will.
I’m going to sue you.

We don’t recall this movie specifically, but it sounds like she might be remembering a scene from *Once Upon a Time in Hollywood* with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Nancy puts a lot of thought into both her own style and the costumes for her characters. She pays incredible attention to every detail, ensuring the clothing not only looks good but also makes the actors comfortable and contributes to the overall visual message of her films. She really considers how clothing helps tell the story and shapes how people perceive the characters.

Could you describe your style? For instance, how would you describe the way your character dressed in *Something’s Gotta Give*? I’d say my style is unique and a bit different from the norm.

Your personal style?
Yeah.

You’re right to ask! I’ve been curious about how you’d describe the style of clothing for characters in Nancy Meyers’ films. And something else about Nancy – she genuinely loves what she does. If a scene is going well and something amuses her, she’ll laugh – it’s a really endearing quality.

If I had to share just one story that really captures who Nancy is as a person, what would it be? Honestly, I resent you even asking, and I’m worried I might get in trouble for answering.

Look, you can let me go if you want. Should I contact my editor? Honestly, I’m not sure how to respond to that. I’ve known Nancy for a long time, through Christmases and other holidays. What’s really impressive about her is that she built a house – it was about two or three years ago, and she did an amazing job. I remember visiting and she was so detail-oriented. She clearly loves her work, and I truly think she’s an artist. I realize I haven’t really answered your question.

That was good, thank you. After working together, how would you describe your friendship? Do you still keep in touch or see each other often? We used to see each other frequently, but things have changed. We’re now facing a really difficult and unfortunate situation, and unfortunately, it’s only getting harder.

It’s just… I understand now. I feel terrible thinking about everyone affected – it’s overwhelming. Honestly, it’s changed things with my friends too. Everyone’s understandably afraid, and it’s created distance between us.

Of course.
You have to be so careful. I hope you’re careful.

I am very careful. Don’t worry.
Are you married and all that stuff?

I’m not married, but I do live with my boyfriend.
Well, that’s good. But you’re careful.

Yes, we’re very careful.
Don’t have a lot of your friends over.

I won’t. I promise.
Don’t enjoy your life.

I would never.Don’t go out.

Honestly, the thought never even crossed my mind. I would *never* tell anyone to drive somewhere, get out, and go into a restaurant! It just wouldn’t happen. I’m completely against that idea.

I won’t. I promise I’ll write this all down and say it was from Diane Keaton.
Yeah, go ahead.

So, one last question: what’s your favorite Nancy Meyers film? You can pick one you acted in, or any other one you like. Personally, I really enjoy the *Father of the Bride* movies, even though some people might find them a bit sentimental – I just think they’re really heartwarming.

I just rewatched them, and they were just as good.
Did you like them?

Yeah!
I haven’t seen them since.

I’m so happy to be a part of this, and she truly deserves all the good things coming her way. When I first met Nancy and Charles, I was working on different types of films, and this project felt really unique and special. They’ve both been wonderful to work with over the years, and Nancy, especially, is a remarkably talented writer and director.

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2025-10-11 23:58