Bitcoin ETFs: The Great Crypto Clown Show 🌪️💸

Ah, the grand theater of finance! According to the wise sages at SoSoValue, Bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs) have staged a magnificent catastrophe, hemorrhaging a whopping $471 million on Oct. 29. 🎭💰 Meanwhile, their cousin, the spot Ethereum ETFs, joined the party, shedding $81.4 million like confetti at a bankrupt circus. 🌪️🎪

Fear: The New Black

The “Fear & Greed” index, that unreliable narrator of market sentiment, declares Bitcoin has plunged into the “fear” abyss. A paltry 34 out of 100 points-yesterday’s neutral 51 now a distant memory. 🦇🔮

On Thursday, Bitcoin took a nosedive to $108,201, shattering the delusions of bullish dreamers. October’s final act? A tragedy, not a triumph. 🎭✨

Yet, some eternal optimists (read: Bitcoiners) find solace in fear while prices hover above $100,000. Because, apparently, fear + six figures = victory? 🤡🚀

ETHA: The Lone Survivor

In this sea of red, BlackRock’s Ethereum ETF (ETHA) stands as the sole hero, pocketing a modest $21.7 million. 🦸♂️💎 Meanwhile, its Bitcoin sibling, IBIT, bled $88 million-a mere flesh wound for its $89 billion empire. 🏰💸

ETHA’s $15.8 billion? Adorable. But in this farce of finance, even the smallest gains deserve a standing ovation. 🎉🎭

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2025-10-30 09:36