Sundance Doc ‘The Dating Game’ Tackles China’s Gender Divide and Romance in the Digital Age: ‘This Generation of Young Men Are Being Punished Again and Again’

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In the bustling, modern city of Chongqing, China – where age-old matchmaking parks stand alongside soaring skyscrapers – dating coach Hao is on a quest to assist the nation’s abundance of single men in finding love. His journey serves as the central narrative for “The Dating Game,” an insightful documentary by Emmy-winning director Violet Du Feng, which has been captivating audiences at this year’s Sundance Film Festival.

The movie focuses on three single men participating in Hao’s relationship workshop, designed to enhance their love lives. Hao, once a commoner, now known as one of China’s premier dating experts due to his impressive personal success – finding love with his polished urban partner Wen, who manages her own matchmaking company – lends authenticity to his teachings.

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The movie is about three bachelors attending Hao’s relationship retreat, which aims to improve their romantic situations. Hao, who rose from humble beginnings to become a renowned dating coach in China thanks to his own love story – marrying Wen, an urban sophisticate who runs her own matchmaking service – adds credibility to his methods.

As a cinema enthusiast, I find myself deeply connected to Hao because he embodies the struggles of working-class men trying to rise above their circumstances. Breaking through and achieving success in such a setting is no easy feat, and it’s truly commendable. What makes his mission even more heartwarming is his genuine desire to help these men find love, a sentiment that resonates strongly given his own experiences. Although I might not always align with his teaching methods, the sincerity behind them is something I deeply appreciate.

The documentary is timely, given the significant gender imbalance in China, with more than 30 million fewer women than men. Du Feng explains that Hao’s client base is predominantly working-class men from rural areas, who struggle in the dating market due to financial difficulties. With over 3,000 clients and reported successes of 400-500 marriages, it appears that Hao’s strategies work – though he acknowledges some satisfied customers hide their use of his services from their partners by deleting him from their social media.

The movie, crafted by Oscar-winning producer Joanna Natasegara (“The White Helmets”), originated from Du Feng’s earlier project “Hidden Letters,” which delved into women’s defiance of patriarchal norms using a covert written language. While showcasing the film to various audiences, Du Feng noticed that people were curious about whether there were any good male characters in the movie. Recognizing the need to balance perspectives and challenge his own biases, Du Feng decided to create a film focusing on Chinese men. He wanted to ensure fair representation in the narrative.

Du Feng vividly portrays the predicament faced by her subjects: “The previous generation was instrumental in fueling our nation’s economic growth, but due to residency limitations, their children were deprived of quality education.” She further notes that “this generation of young men is repeatedly penalized for the sake of national progress… They grew up without proper guidance and lacking opportunities to interact with females.

The documentary, deeply exploring China’s distinct social nuances, strikes a chord worldwide by delving into the realm of contemporary romance. Du Feng remarked, “They, like us all, exist within this digital realm and must conceal themselves in some way. We all apply a different kind of mask when using dating apps to present ourselves, often saying or altering things that may not truly reflect who we are in an attempt to attract.

The movie received overwhelmingly positive responses at Sundance, featuring fully booked showings and lengthy queues for standby viewers. Du Feng commented that the audience response was so remarkable they laughed throughout the film. “I hope the laughter isn’t mocking them, but rather a shared experience,” he said, “and while we’re laughing together, perhaps we can also learn something new, different from what we previously thought.

As a cinephile, I find myself increasingly intrigued by the unpredictability surrounding the release of films in China’s complex cinematic landscape. The situation seems to be growing more labyrinthine with each passing day, as the barriers to clearance from the Chinese censors seem to multiply. Adding to the conundrum is a shrinking market due to these restrictions, making it progressively harder for films to find their audience.

In the future, Du Feng is working on her upcoming venture – a series focusing on dating coaches worldwide. She mentioned that India and other Asian countries are definitely under consideration, while the U.S. and Europe also pique her interest. This indicates that the topics of loneliness and connection in today’s digital world have universal appeal, transcending China’s geographical boundaries.

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2025-01-29 14:17