There’s a Conclave Character for Every Oscar Movie

Awards season certainly bears some resemblance to a conclave – don’t you agree? Imagine the grandeur and pageantry, similar to the one depicted in the 2024 film ‘Conclave’. Instead of cardinals, we have celebrities. Instead of Vatican cathedrals, we have prestigious venues like St. Dolby’s and St. Beverly Hilton’s. Instead of sermons, we have speeches. Instead of fast days, there are strict rules and etiquette to follow.

We scrutinize the seating arrangements at various award ceremonies just as the cardinals do in the Vatican cafeteria. Scandals, rumors, and whispers abound, not unlike the gossip among the influential queens of the Vatican. Contenders deliver speeches, while representatives from accounting firms tally votes with all the solemnity of divine messengers.

All this unfolds within a closed-off, wealthy society that has wielded significant influence for many years – much like the Vatican itself.

As a movie enthusiast, I’ve set up an intriguing comparison: Just as the Oscar race is all about identifying the year’s most talked-about film contenders, let’s delve deeper into Conclave‘s papal hopefuls to see who mirrors this awards season’s buzzworthy nominees. (In our fictional world, securing the votes for the papacy is akin to winning Best Picture at the Oscars.)

The dead pope — Oppenheimer

Huge shoes for any of these guys to fill. No successor that feels clear or inevitable off the bat.

Cardinal Adeyemi — Emilia Pérez

Initially, Emilia Pérez was a formidable contender, enjoying significant support from international allies. At first glance, he seemed like an avant-garde or revolutionary choice, but as we delve deeper into the selection/election process, it has been revealed that he holds conservative views and exhibits behavior that some find offensive. As more voters get exposed to Emilia Pérez in the upcoming weeks, there’s a possibility that this increased scrutiny could potentially undermine his chances of becoming the ultimate winner.

Cardinal Bellini — Anora

As part of the group, I’m the charismatic, contemporary American with a wit that leaves people smiling and a mind that always seems to be thinking ahead. Despite generating plenty of excitement and positive chatter, my performance in the initial rounds (at the Golden Globes) didn’t quite meet expectations. Following that, my campaign seemed to lose momentum and fade away, but I still find myself at the center of conversations months later. Now, the question is: Can I surpass my rival and claim victory in any of the significant categories?

Cardinal Tedesco — The Brutalist

With a striking and extravagant aesthetic that harks back to bygone eras, Tedesco stormed into this gathering like a tempest, much like how The Brutalist created a stir at the start of its award season, garnering significant accolades from critics and awards bodies including the Golden Globes. However, this contender is not without controversy; the film’s incorporation of AI has raised eyebrows, particularly in light of the Hollywood strikes of 2023, which sparked intense debates about labor and intellectual property rights. If left unchecked, The Brutalist could potentially tarnish the entire competition. To top it off, director Brady Corbet reading his acceptance speech from his phone is a classic Tedesco move.

Cardinal Tremblay — Wicked

I’m quite impressed by the influential backing and impressive displays this candidate has, even showing off with a Nespresso machine. However, I can’t help but feel that his ambitions might be stretching beyond his abilities as a contender. He certainly possesses technical skills, yet he appears somewhat shallow in depth and less philosophically adventurous compared to others. If he’s managed to get this close to the Pope (who serves as an influential figure similar to the Wizard of Oz), then it’s clear that his popularity is quite broad. Yet, his eagerness seems overwhelming, and his campaign lacks the finesse needed to truly shine.

Sister Agnes — Dune: Part Two

She’s been here all along, boasting a chic style and high regard, despite her lower social status. Notably, Dune: Part Two is the only action/sci-fi contender this year. However, she’s not part of the inner circle discussing who will claim the top prize. Yet, her influence can sway the competition in lesser-known categories. Primarily, though, Agnes is associated with Dune: Part Two due to the space nuns.

Cardinal Benitez — The Substance

As a passionate cinephile, I find myself captivated by this enigmatic figure who seemingly emerged from nowhere, Benitez. If given the reins, he would undoubtedly bring a breath of fresh air and a revolutionary spirit to the table. His essence, once unveiled, resonates profoundly with the ethos of The Substance’s slogan, “Remember, you are one.” Much like the climactic twist in The Substance left audiences spellbound and questioning reality, Benitez’s charisma has left an indelible mark. In both the narrative of the film and as a symbol of it, Benitez embodies the spirit of the people’s champion, echoing the way The Substance, particularly its lead actress Demi Moore, has captured our hearts in the campaign.

Just as Benitez won over the conclave with a single eloquent speech, Demi Moore may have done the same at the Golden Globes. Initially, Benitez wasn’t seeking this position… yet he accepted it with poise and humility. If The Substance were to win Best Picture, it would be a miraculous event, a divine intervention, much like assuming the papacy for awards-watching gays on Oscar night, as Best Actress is the most revered award of the evening for many dedicated fans.

Cardinal Lawrence — Conclave

Initially, Cardinal Thomas Lawrence was admired and held in high regard without aggressively pursuing the leadership position. Behind the scenes, he subtly gathered support and adjusted his strategy accordingly. He is a candidate who appeals to various groups, appearing conventional while being surprisingly progressive. Both ordinary people and intellectuals can find appeal in him. Beneath his humble exterior lies ambition. Thomas is intelligent, well-composed, and embodies decency, much like how the film “Conclave” portrays a different kind of decency – the kind that suggests quality without being groundbreaking, like a finely crafted piece that may not be revolutionary. He almost became pope; it’s likely that “Conclave” will make it to the Best Picture nominations but may not win the award.

2025-01-23 02:56