Miss J Alexander Is Still ‘Healing and Dealing’ After Reality Check

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J. Alexander remains a commanding presence, even on video calls. He started his career in the 1990s, coaching famous models like Naomi Campbell and Kimora Lee Simmons on how to walk the runway. In 2003, he transitioned to television when Tyra Banks invited him to be a judge and runway coach on the UPN show America’s Next Top Model. There, he became known as “Miss J,” bringing a vibrant drag persona to television at a time when LGBTQ+ representation was scarce. Even if you’ve never seen Top Model, you’ve likely seen his memorable reaction faces in GIFs online.

The new Netflix documentary, Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model, shows how ANTM went from a show no major network wanted to a huge reality TV success. It created its own unique language, with terms like “smize,” “tooch,” and “flawsome” becoming widely known. A particularly memorable outburst from Tyra Banks even became a viral sensation years before “viral” was a common word. While Top Model wasn’t perfect and faced criticism – including concerns about racism, unrealistic beauty standards, and manipulative editing – the documentary addresses these issues directly. According to former judge Jay Alexander, his control over certain aspects of the show, like the challenges, was limited. He explains that if he had been present at meetings, he would have voiced his concerns about some ideas, saying something like, “I’m not sure about that.”

The documentary shares something incredibly personal about Alexander’s life. In 2022, he had a stroke and was in a coma for five weeks. When he woke up, he discovered he was paralyzed on his right side. He’s described his recovery as a long and challenging journey, one that’s forced him to surrender to a higher power. It’s a deeply ironic situation, he says – he spent his career teaching robots to walk, and now he struggles with walking himself. But even after everything, he’s still incredibly sharp and quick-witted. When we met on Google Meet, he didn’t waste any time getting down to business. After a quick hello, he immediately said, “Yes, yes, yes. Let’s hit it!” He’s still full of life, and his face is constantly expressive – a mix of knowing looks, shifting eyes, and sly smiles.

You experienced a stroke at the end of 2022, and you touched on the recovery process in a documentary. Could you describe what was going through your mind as you started to get better?

Initially, I was in a coma in the ICU for five weeks. When I woke up, I was completely disoriented and didn’t recognize where I was. I was in a hospital bed, and my first thought was, ‘Where am I?’ My niece, who had found me after I collapsed in my New York apartment, explained that I’d had a stroke and was in the hospital. I tried to sit up, but the doctors told me I couldn’t because I was paralyzed on my right side. When they told me that, I just started to cry.

Honestly, things were tough for a while, and I’ve been slowly getting better, taking it day by day. It took a long time to heal, and I kept everything private until I finally shared it on the show. I’m so grateful for everyone who reached out, especially when some incredible people came to see me – Angela Bassett, Niecy Nash, Alfre Woodard, and Abigail Spencer. Seeing them definitely brought tears to my eyes, but I tried to stay strong. We ended up sharing a lot of laughs and really connecting. After they left, I just remember thinking, ‘Wow, I’m so lucky. I have truly amazing friends.’

But no Tyra Banks.

I noticed in the document that Tyra texted you about wanting to visit. Have you had a chance to see her since then? I haven’t yet. She called about three weeks ago and said she’d like to come, and I said that was fine, but she hasn’t visited yet.

I think she’ll wait for a ticket to be paid for.

So, that happened after you finished the documentary, correct? And she’s contacted you saying she wants to come visit? Yes, she was in Los Angeles and mentioned she’d visit, but didn’t say when. She was in New York in 2024 for Victoria’s Secret and hosted a week of the Today show last year, I believe. Speaking of which, where is Tyra?

Do you want to see her?
Sure!

Dealing with the aftermath of a stroke is tough, both physically and emotionally, and having support seems incredibly important. My therapist asked some direct questions – if I was having thoughts of suicide, and if I had friends. I said I did, and listed them, but the therapist seemed surprised. I miss the things I used to do, like getting dressed and working on my clothes. But I also feel like there’s something new waiting for me, something positive, even though I don’t know exactly what it is yet.

Has this experience changed how I see things? Are my priorities different now? I’ve realized I no longer worry about other people’s opinions – I never really did, but this has made me focus on what I want and what the future holds. Jay Manuel reminded me to focus on what inspires me to inspire others. I feel like dreaming of my grandmother or mother will bring good luck, and I’m hoping to have those dreams soon – I plan to go for a walk afterward.

Nigel Barker was really touched when he talked about visiting you while you were in the hospital. Did you develop a close bond with him and the others while filming the show? Yes, I’m close to everyone involved, but I’m particularly close to Jay Manuel because we worked together so much.

The documentary looks back at the controversy surrounding your departure from Top Model in 2012, involving both Nigel and Jay. You later returned to the show in 2014. Did you and Jay maintain a relationship after that? Yes, we did. There was a period of about two years after I went back to the show where we didn’t speak. I simply stopped reaching out. When Jay visited me and we discussed it, I became very emotional because I realized there hadn’t been a good reason for the silence. I hadn’t been able to explain my feelings. Thankfully, we were able to reconnect and things went back to normal.

You noted in the document that Jay tended to be private and guarded. Did you ever feel a close connection with him, or did he keep you at arm’s length? Honestly, it didn’t bother me. That was just his personality, and I wasn’t going to try to change him. I was very focused on my own creative pursuits, especially designing my outfits. I kept my looks a surprise for everyone, even Tyra. My outfits became increasingly elaborate, and I intentionally didn’t share my plans with anyone, including Jay and Tyra. I thought to myself, ‘If you’re going to keep secrets, so will I.’

You worked with Tyra Banks before she became famous – you actually taught her how to walk the runway. Was she naturally gifted, or did you really shape her talent? She mostly came as she was, though I did make a few small adjustments. I think she sought me out because of who I am, rather than needing a major overhaul.

Did you ever think about leaving the show like Jay had?
No.

Really? Was it because you were really happy doing the show?
I was making money. [Laughs.]

Did you happen to catch any episodes of Top Model while you were away, just to see what it was like?

No, I completely forgot it was even on.

Looking back at the show and its impact over the years, what do you think its lasting contribution will be? Well, honestly, the show didn’t really produce any ‘top models,’ if that’s what you mean. [Laughs]

Does that surprise you?
Not really. It was a TV show.

Is there anything you would change about it if you could remake it today?
Maybe eating habits.

Is that yours or someone else’s? No, definitely not mine. It’s about letting the girls eat what they want, and be comfortable with all body types. It’s okay if they don’t participate in every challenge.

I wanted to get your opinion on which challenges worked well and which didn’t. I thought the “Walking on Water” and “Walking in a Bubble” challenges were strong. But the blackface challenge? I would never do that. It was inappropriate then, and it remains inappropriate now.

I remember watching the documentary and being surprised to hear you weren’t actually there for things like that race-swapping challenge. It made me wonder if you felt like you were getting unfairly criticized for stuff that happened when you weren’t around? But honestly, you seem pretty straightforward about it – you weren’t involved, so you don’t take responsibility for it, and that’s fair enough. You weren’t in those meetings, so you weren’t going to be blamed, and I respect that!

This show is clearly from a time when conversations about pronouns – and how we talk about gender – were very different. Thinking about that, what pronouns do you prefer, and how do they feel true to who you are? Personally, I’ve always just gone by ‘Miss J’ and I’m comfortable with any pronouns. Luckily, I’ve never been directly confronted with hateful slurs like ‘faggot’ or ‘homo,’ though I’m sure people may have said them behind my back.

It seems like nothing really bothers you. That’s because I’m gay – I identify as LGBTQ+, and honestly, as long as I get paid, I’m okay with whatever.

This documentary focuses on America’s Next Top Model, but it’s really also a portrait of Tyra Banks. It tries to understand what she’s like as a person, and how she interacts with those she works with and considers friends. [A long pause, then a yawn.] Is that a sufficient response?

Was the yawn part of the answer? That’s what I need to know.
[Laughs.]Um, she all right.

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2026-02-19 16:56