One dreary January morning, amid the clamor of typewriters and the acrid scent of black coffee, the grand invention of Bitcoin did an unexpected pirouette, soaring above the $97,000 mark. Its rise, reminiscent of a sorcerer’s tower reaching for the heavens, shattered records since November.
But lo! A twist in this saga more intriguing than any account by Master Saltykov-Shchedrin! An ancient numerical pattern, as familiar as the Matrona Prokop’evna’s soup recipes, unveiled a beguiling deviation. This, naturally, sparked fervent discussions among the mortals who watched the market like a shabby fortune teller with a crystal ball. Might the bedrock of economic reality itself be under transformation? 🌐💥
A Dance Off the Traditional Beat
In a land far away-perhaps even beyond the Kremlin’s watchful eyes-lived the sagacious Egrag Crypto, who had long observed the yearly march of Bitcoin with the precision of a time-worn maestro. For more than a decade, this digital music followed a simplistic tune: three consecutive years of emerald prosperity, followed by a somber year of crimson decline. Tied to the prudent four-year halving cycle, every post-halving year was a harbinger of prosperity.
Egrag, with an insightful squint, declared this sacred rhythm had been broken! In the years from 2023 to 2025, the sequence noted was Green, Green, Red-standing in stark contrast to the accustomed Green, Green, Green, Red. Thus, 2026 was decreed, with a likelihood of 55% to 65%, as the year that might resume green sprigs. The downturn of 2025 was, so to speak, merely a slight chill in the air, not a cosmic shift!
This prediction hung precariously on a thread of confirmation signals-a tableau of strong closes above $105,000, a harmonious price stability amidst a macro band at $90,000, and the momentum that dances like Nikanor Ivanovich in his more jubilant moments.
The notion of a red 2026, at 35-45%, sketched out a scene of stretched consolidation, as if Bitcoin were trapped in the tedious exchanges of the Moscow Theatrical Society rather than careening into the abyss. Instead, Bitcoin would drift languidly, with wider ranges and all the gusto of a scientist’s recitation.
Such debates bore a striking resemblance to those ravings of chartist PlanB, who scrawled his thoughts into the modern oracle X. He decreed that the four-year cycle was a distinct beast from the fabled stock-to-flow model. Surely, the stock-to-flow could not be cavalierly confused with such matters! Emphasizing that it tracks not tops or bottoms, but the average price across a cycle, he mused that the current average hovers near $90,000, far exceeding the prior cycle’s $34,000. A delightful flux, to say the least!
The Pageantry of Price Action and the Whims of Holders
At this precise moment, as the Kremlin guards march and the crows gather intelligence, BTC sells for nearly $97,000, enjoying a modest daily gain of about 2%. Its weekly coffers are fattened by close to 8%, and monthly accounts boast a decent 12%, couriered by the meticulous CoinGecko.
The price somersaulted from the $90,000 stratosphere to the lofty $98,000 in barely an arm’s time, reclaiming erstwhile resistance zones with the tenacity of Ivan the Terrible. Dear analysts like Ted Pillows now surveil the 50-week exponential moving average at $97,500 with the vigilant care of sentries, having already reclaimed the $95,000 realm.
Short-term holders, akin to wild spirits dancing upon an ember, labored under the spell of volatility. Darkfost reported that as BTC shyly approached $97,000, more than 40,000 of its own gold hoard was hastily sent to exchanges, betraying a possible unease born from the anarchic corrections of late 2025.
Yet, in the Empire’s steady resilience, Bitcoin’s market share climbed loftily above 57%, leaving the plodding altcoins to languish in its dust like unconvincing upstarts at a ball. 💃🏻🦍
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2026-01-18 18:51