Coinbase vs. Congress: Stablecoin Saga 🤑💥

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So, here’s the deal: Coinbase is basically saying, “You touch our stablecoin rewards, and we’re outta here!” 🚀🤚 Like, seriously, who messes with a good thing? But hey, Congress is like, “Rules are rules, Larry.” 🤷‍♂️

  • Coinbase: “No rewards? No support. Simple as that.” 😤
  • USDC rewards? More like USD-See-Ya if they ban ‘em. 💸👋
  • Congress: “Let’s just delay everything because why not?” ⏳🤦‍♂️

Coinbase is drawing a line in the sand, or should I say, the blockchain? 🏖️⛓️ Meanwhile, Congress is like a bad sitcom-you know, the kind that gets canceled after one season. 📉🎬

According to Bloomberg (yeah, the same folks who tell you how rich you’re not), this drama unfolded on Jan. 11. Mark your calendars, folks-it’s a real nail-biter. 📅😱

Stablecoin rewards: The new fault line 🌋💰

Coinbase is like, “Hands off our rewards, or we’re taking our ball and going home.” 🏀🏃‍♂️ Apparently, these rewards are their bread and butter-or should I say, their Bitcoin and blockchain? 🥖⛓️

We’re talking 3.5% rewards for Coinbase One customers. That’s like finding a $20 bill in your old jeans-except it’s legal. 💵👖 Bloomberg says this could’ve been a cool $1.3 billion by 2025. But hey, who’s counting? 🤔💸

If rewards get axed, users might peace out faster than a bad first date. 🚪👋 And let’s not forget, Coinbase owns a piece of Circle-so this is personal. 💔🔗

The banking lobby? Oh, they’re just sitting there like, “Stablecoin rewards? That’s our turf!” 🏦🚫 Meanwhile, crypto firms are like, “Back off, we’ve got this!” 🦸‍♂️💪

GENIUS Act: The prequel to this mess 🎬🤯

Remember the GENIUS Act? Yeah, that was July. Good times. 🌞📜 It said issuers can’t pay interest, but platforms? Go wild! 🎉 But now, Coinbase is like, “Wait, you’re changing the rules mid-game?” 🎮🚫

They’re framing rewards as saving the dollar’s global dominance. Because, you know, nothing says “strong dollar” like a 3.5% reward. 🇺🇸💪

Political pressure? Oh, it’s through the roof. Coinbase has been throwing money around like it’s confetti. 🎉💸 But will it be enough to save their rewards? Stay tuned. 🍿🎥

Some senators are trying to find a middle ground. You know, like a compromise that no one’s happy with. 🤝😒 But banking groups are like, “Nope, not happening.” 🚫🏦

So, here we are. Stablecoin rewards: the hill everyone’s willing to die on. 🏔️⚔️ Analysts say if this keeps up, the bill’s chances are thinner than a blockchain transaction fee. 📉💸

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2026-01-12 08:36