Ah, the grand theater of capitalism! Michael Saylor’s Strategy, once the crown jewel of MicroStrategy, continues its quixotic quest to hoard Bitcoin, like a dragon guarding its digital treasure. 🏰💰
Meanwhile, Tom Lee’s BitMine Technologies is busy playing alchemist with Ethereum, turning silicon into silver (or so they hope). 🧙♂️✨
Peter Schiff: The Grumpy Goldbug Strikes Again! 🧓💎
Last week, Strategy threw another $108.8 million into the Bitcoin bonfire, snapping up 1,229 BTC at a cool $88,568 per coin. Their hoard now stands at 672,497 BTC, valued at a staggering $50.44 billion. But is it a treasure or a trap? 🕳️💸
“Strategy has acquired 1,229 BTC for ~$108.8 million at ~$88,568 per bitcoin, achieving a BTC Yield of 23.2% YTD 2025. As of 12/28/2025, we hodl 672,497 $BTC acquired for ~$50.44 billion at ~$74,997 per bitcoin. $MSTR $STRC $STRK $STRF $STRD $STRE” – Strategy (@Strategy) December 29, 2025
With an unrealized profit of $8.31 billion (a mere 16% over five years), Strategy is sitting pretty-or are they? Peter Schiff, the eternal goldbug, scoffs at these numbers. “A 3% annual return?” he sneers. “My grandmother’s tea cozy yields more excitement!” 🧦☕
“MSTR would have been much better off had Saylor bought just about any other asset instead of Bitcoin,” Schiff grumbled, his mustache twitching with disdain. “Even a pet rock would’ve been more profitable!” 🪨😒
Yet, Strategy marches on, a beacon of institutional crypto zealotry. Their buy-and-hold mantra echoes through the halls of finance, even as Schiff’s barbs fly like darts at a carnival. 🎪🎯
Tom Lee’s BitMine: Ethereum’s Sorcerer’s Apprentice 🧙♂️⚗️
While Strategy hoards Bitcoin like a digital Scrooge McDuck, Tom Lee’s BitMine is busy conjuring Ethereum. Last week, they added 44,463 ETH to their cauldron, bringing their total to 4,110,525 ETH, worth $12.02 billion. That’s 3.41% of the entire ETH supply-enough to make Vitalik Buterin blush. 😳🔥
“Tom Lee(@fundstrat)’s #Bitmine bought another 44,463 $ETH($130M) last week and currently holds 4,110,525 $ETH($12.02B).” – Lookonchain (@lookonchain) December 29, 2025
BitMine’s staking solution, MAVAN, is set to launch in Q1 2026, promising to turn ETH into a golden goose. Their total holdings now stand at $13.2 billion, with $1 billion in cash and $23 million in moonshots. Even Cathie Wood is on board-and she’s never wrong, right? 🚀🤷♀️
The contrast between Strategy’s Bitcoin fortress and BitMine’s Ethereum laboratory couldn’t be starker. One bets on the future of money, the other on the alchemy of smart contracts. Meanwhile, Schiff watches from the sidelines, clutching his gold bars like a security blanket. 🛡️🧸
BitMine’s Annual Stockholder Meeting at the Wynn Las Vegas on January 15, 2026, promises to be a spectacle. Will they achieve their “Alchemy of 5%” goal? Only time-and the whims of the market-will tell. 🕰️🎩
As for Strategy, they continue to amass Bitcoin, undeterred by MSCI exclusion or Schiff’s barbs. After all, in the world of crypto, the only thing more volatile than the price is the drama. 🎭💥
Read More
- ETH PREDICTION. ETH cryptocurrency
- AI VTuber Neuro-Sama Just Obliterated Her Own Massive Twitch World Record
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Cantarella: Dominion of Qualia launches for PC via Steam in 2026
- Lynae Build In WuWa (Best Weapon & Echo In Wuthering Waves)
- The Rookie Saves Fans From A Major Disappointment For Lucy & Tim In Season 8
- ‘She-Ra and the Princesses of Power’ Creator Hopes for New Streamer After Netflix Removal
- MKBHD denies “conspiracy” that he makes mistakes in reviews to farm engagement
- Netflix’s Delhi Crime Is Almost Too Hard To Watch
- George Lucas Removed 1 Clever Palpatine Line from ‘Revenge of the Sith’
2025-12-29 18:52