Mormon Wives’s Jessi Draper Credits the Show With Saving Her Marriage

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Just before the third season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives launched on Hulu, star Jessi Ngatikaura made a change on social media. She started using her birth name, Jessi Draper, on TikTok, leading her 1.4 million followers to believe she and her husband, Jordan Ngatikaura, had separated. However, despite nearly ending their marriage, Jessi and Jordan are still together – and the new season shows just how close they came to divorce.

For the first two seasons of the show, Jessi played a smaller role. At 33, she’s the oldest of the group and the only one with a business outside of social media—she owns a hair salon and extension brand called JZ Styles—which kept her somewhat separate from the main drama. However, things changed after season two when Marciano Brunette from Vanderpump Villa claimed they had a romantic relationship. This forced Jessi, known for her Utah Curls, to address her marriage publicly in season three. As she explains, “I felt like I had two choices: avoid the situation or face it head-on. Everyone was already talking about it, so I decided to share my perspective.”

Jessi explains that she and Marciano had an emotional connection while she was separated from her husband, Jordan Ngatikaura, but they never had a physical relationship. This admission is just the beginning of a complicated story, as Jessi reveals years of emotional abuse led to another separation from Jordan. By the end of the season, she and Jordan reconcile after a 90-day split, and she also forgives her former best friend, Demi Engemann, for spreading rumors about the situation with Marciano. However, Jessi notes that the show doesn’t tell the whole story, as a lot of footage is left out due to time constraints and editing choices. She emphasizes that there’s much more to what happened than viewers saw.

I wondered the same thing about getting back together with Jordan after our three-month break. While we were filming the show, things moved so fast, and we didn’t have enough time to actually work on the things we discussed in therapy. I felt more comfortable trying to rebuild our relationship away from the cameras.

How are you and Jordan feeling today? We’re doing better, though it’s taking time to heal. We’ve been going to therapy and are starting to feel more positive, and we’re just hoping the release of the show doesn’t set us back.

The fan response has been mostly positive, with a lot of support, but there have also been some negative comments. It’s hard to focus on either because opinions are so varied – one person might say one thing, and the next person says the opposite. I’m trying to avoid social media to deal with it all.

Jordan and I are receiving a mix of both positive and negative reactions from fans. We anticipated this, as we’ve been in therapy to prepare for it, and we’re hoping things continue to progress positively.

Now that everyone knows you and Jordan are still a couple, people are curious why you changed your name on social media. I’d actually been wanting to do it for some time, even before the first season of the show. My last name is difficult to pronounce, and I thought changing it would be helpful. Jordan didn’t love the idea then, so I didn’t pursue it. But after everything that happened, I felt more confident in sharing my story and being myself. I realized I shouldn’t let anyone, including a partner, control who I am.

You recently mentioned you’re selling your house, and there are a few reasons why. We’ve had a lot of difficult times here, and we’re hoping for a fresh start. Plus, because our house is featured on the show so often, people have started showing up at our home, which feels like a lack of privacy. With the large front windows, it really feels like we’re living in a fishbowl. We’re looking for a more private place to live.

We never intended to reveal the emotional abuse I experienced with Jordan. Initially, the storyline focused solely on the affair. However, Jordan’s behavior towards me became apparent when I returned from St. George – he was just being himself, and it became impossible to hide what was happening. Anyone who’s been in a difficult relationship will likely recognize that what was shown on screen was probably much milder than what actually happened behind the scenes.

I take full responsibility for my mistake and deeply regret it. While I’m not making excuses, my difficult relationship with Jordan significantly impacted my emotional state at the time. It really damaged my self-esteem, and I ended up seeking reassurance elsewhere. It was challenging to navigate that situation without revealing the problems in our relationship.

I’m actually thankful this happened, because it forced us to address the issue. We’ve been able to get support and go to therapy, and I don’t believe we would have sought help if it hadn’t been brought to light.

Watching that scene back, the one where I confronted Jordan after getting home from St. George, was honestly tough, even for me as a viewer. But if I’m being real, it wasn’t the worst of it. He used to talk to me like that all the time, which sounds crazy to admit, and it was definitely wrong, but I’d gotten…used to it, sadly. What really shocked me wasn’t the content, but that he said it on camera. I genuinely didn’t expect him to lose his cool like that, especially because he always seemed so concerned with how he came across.

Honestly, I’m glad that footage resurfaced. Things weren’t going to improve if we didn’t address the past, and seeing it again was tough. It really brought back what things were like before – the daily struggle, the feelings… it was a stark reminder of how far we’ve come, and thankfully, that’s not our reality anymore. I think it was really valuable for Jordan to watch it too; it gave him a new understanding of everything.

Jordan talked a lot about feeling like the affair made him feel less of a man, and this came up at a barbecue you didn’t attend. How did it feel to watch that scene play out? It was difficult because Jordan often seems to take responsibility for things, but then quickly tries to shift the blame onto someone else.

Things were incredibly sensitive at the time. Jordan and I had been privately navigating the affair for half a year, and when it became public, it reopened old wounds. He seemed more concerned with feeling humiliated than with the emotional pain it caused.

Watching Jordan act so driven by his ego, much like Zac did in the first season, made me think about whether that kind of behavior is common in Mormon culture. It really comes down to traditional gender roles. Men are often raised to be the primary earners and the strong foundation of the family. A lot of the problems Jordan and I have stem from him having to leave his job because my career was taking off. His job required a lot of travel, and with two kids and my work, things became complicated. He felt lost without being the main provider, and that definitely impacted his self-esteem.

Bringing cameras to therapy was a really brave thing to do. What led you to share such a personal part of your journey on the show? I was trying to understand my own actions and how I ended up in this situation. While my relationship with Jordan was a major factor, I also realized I had deeper insecurities that contributed to my choices and how I let him treat me. I decided to be completely honest and share everything I was learning, hoping it might help others who have experienced toxic relationships, made mistakes due to low self-esteem, or struggled with similar issues. I wanted to show that it’s possible to understand and grow from these experiences.

If you’ve gone through something tough, remember it doesn’t change who you are at your core. Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s alright as long as you’re willing to learn from them, take responsibility, and strive to improve.

During therapy, there’s a powerful moment when your therapist asks what you appreciate about your physical appearance, and you respond with, “Nothing.” It’s a realization – a kind of wake-up call – that this negative self-perception is deeply impacting your feelings and choices.

The show definitely had a mixed impact on how I view myself. After the first season, I received a lot of negative comments about my appearance, something the other women didn’t experience as much. It really damaged my confidence. I’ve worked on improving how I feel, and I’m in a better place now, but those feelings still linger. I don’t think you can ever fully erase something like that, especially if you don’t address it from within. External changes don’t matter if your internal feelings stay the same.

I think everyone struggles with self-doubt, and women especially often feel insecure. I wanted to be open about that because my own insecurities have definitely shaped who I am – they’ve influenced my choices, and it’s something I’m actively trying to improve.

You’ve shared that you’ve had some cosmetic procedures, like a small nose adjustment and work around your eyes. Now that you’ve been in therapy, how do you feel about those procedures looking back?

Honestly, if people want to do things to boost how they feel about themselves, I’m all for it! We’re constantly making little changes – dyeing our hair, getting facials – anything to feel good. So, if someone feels surgery will help them achieve that same confidence, why shouldn’t they? It’s a bigger step, sure, but as long as they’re thinking clearly about it, understand their reasons, and aren’t going to extremes, I think it’s perfectly okay.

Sharing accomplishments publicly is common, but many people don’t talk about the effort or procedures involved. This can create unrealistic expectations for young women who might believe others were simply born with a ‘perfect’ appearance, when in reality, those features were often achieved through procedures or enhancements.

This season felt particularly personal for you, and also tackled some important social issues. We saw storylines about Layla’s hair, the Pride event, and Demi’s focus on supporting women. What motivated you to include these topics?

I organized the Pride event because LGBTQ+ people have always been a significant part of my life – I’ve had a lifelong friend, worked with colleagues, and value their experiences. My departure from the church was partly due to its lack of inclusivity. For me, it was crucial to show support and create a space for everyone, regardless of societal beliefs.

It’s possible to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while also respecting and accepting people with different beliefs and lifestyles. The culture within the Church needs to become more inclusive, and as younger members take on leadership roles, positive changes are likely to happen. I hope to contribute to that evolution.

I’ve noticed a lot of viewers are reluctant to fully support you as a cast member because they’re researching your political views, and I’ve seen discussions about this on TikTok. I wanted to give you a chance to share your thoughts. As a business owner, I can say that tariffs and many of the previous administration’s policies weren’t helpful. Personally, I believe everyone deserves love and support, and we shouldn’t let division and hate tear our country apart. We can coexist peacefully and respectfully, even with differing beliefs, by simply treating each other with kindness and embracing inclusion.

I don’t really fit into any particular political group. I just support what I believe is right, which often means I agree with points from both sides. I have beliefs across the political spectrum, but I want to be clear: I do not support Donald Trump.

Following some disagreements about contracts in the past couple of seasons, I wanted to address a question: Are all of us paid equally for being on the show? The answer is yes, and I really appreciate that. We all work incredibly hard on this show, consistently, no matter what’s happening in our personal lives. It’s important to me that everyone feels equally valued. Once someone starts demanding more money or better contracts, they lose sight of what matters, and that can really change a person for the worse. Letting money issues consume you will ultimately change you, and not for the better.

Things are difficult with Demi. We used to be close friends, but a lot has changed, and I’ve seen things I don’t agree with. We briefly reconnected when we were all filming together, but since then, I’ve noticed ongoing patterns of behavior that I’m not comfortable with, so I’ve decided to distance myself. I don’t think we’ll be friends again, even if we work together in the future. I’m happy to be her colleague, but not her friend.

During the final MomTok meeting, Demi didn’t really explain what she was trying to accomplish with the drama involving Marciano. It felt unclear what her motives were. Honestly, she’s very skilled at manipulating situations, avoiding the truth, and playing the victim, and I think she did all of that. By that point, though, I was exhausted from all the conflict and going through my separation. I just wanted to be polite if Demi was going to stay on the show. I tried being her friend for a few months, but she kept lying and didn’t seem genuine, so I realized I couldn’t continue the friendship. It didn’t last long.

Is she continuing to tell the same untrue story about Marciano? She is, and it’s simply not true. There’s more to the story than she’s letting on, and she’ll likely never admit the truth because she’s committed to her false narrative. Backing down now would make her look foolish.

I noticed you were cheering for Whitney on Dancing With the Stars. Were you trying out for the show too? Actually, I did audition, but I told them not to pick me – I don’t have much of a sense of rhythm!

I was surprised they offered two of the women from “Mormon Wives” a place, but also really happy for them. It was something they both really wanted, and they’re both passionate about dancing.

So, Whitney and I are doing well now. On the new season, you’ll see her admit she was really only interested in being on Dancing With the Stars, and she got what she wanted – it’s kind of amazing! It did sting a little, though. My friend group, ‘MomTok,’ is all about supporting each other, and even though we have our moments, we care about each other a lot. You’ll see my friendships really develop this season – they were a huge support for me. When Whitney came back and said what she did, it felt a bit off. But we talked it through as a group, she opened up, and we’ve all moved on.

I really support her and think she’s wonderful. My only concern is her continued friendship with Demi – I wish she chose her friends more carefully. But aside from that, I have nothing but good things to say about her.

I’ve also made amends with Jen. We’re very close, and this season you’ll see us talk things through. I apologized for letting my own problems affect how I treated her. We were able to discuss everything and resolve it. I didn’t realize what Jen was going through until I watched the second season, when she stepped back a bit. We’ve had some really open and honest conversations, and I’m there for her no matter what.

Right now, I’m closest to Mayci, Mikayla, and Taylor – they’re my best friends in the group. It’s pretty clear I’m not as close to Demi. Otherwise, I get along with everyone.

The first look at Taylor’s season of The Bachelorette is out! What qualities are you hoping to see in her future partner? I’m hoping she finds someone genuine, relatable, and fun-loving, but with a bit of an adventurous streak. She deserves someone who supports her and lets her be herself, not someone she feels like she has to compete with.

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2025-11-19 21:58