In the grand theater of blockchain, where every act is more absurd than the last 🎭, DoubleZero (2Z) took center stage this week with a performance so dramatic it would make Dostoevsky roll his eyes. Cue the SEC’s No-Action Letter-a bureaucratic standing ovation! 🎉
But lo! Instead of a triumphant rally, the crowd gasped as the token price tumbled faster than a matryoshka doll in a landslide 🌄. Skepticism bloomed like mold on forgotten pierogi, while the community’s faith evaporated like vodka in a Cossack’s mustache.
How the SEC’s “No-Action Letter” Became a Comedy of Errors
September 2025: a date etched in the annals of crypto history, or at least in the sticky notes of some beleaguered intern. The SEC, that enigmatic beast 🐉, waved its wand and declared DoubleZero’s tokenomics… legal? Sort of. A No-Action Letter fluttered down like a bureaucratic snowflake, melting into a puddle of confusion.
“Today’s no-action letter exemplifies how performing that role can help infrastructure providers spend their time deep in the weeds of building out infrastructure, not knee-deep in parsing the nuances of securities laws,” the statement noted-because nothing says “progress” like drowning in metaphorical thistle 🌿.
DoubleZero’s tech, they say, is a marvel! A fiber-optic utopia where blockchains zoom faster than a troika through a snowstorm 🏇💨. Tokenized rewards! Latency slain! A “foundational layer” for the digital age! Industry experts swooned like debutantes at a poetry recital.
“This is the innovation we need if we want on-chain price discovery for all of the world’s assets,” declared Multicoin’s co-founder, who clearly missed the memo about “community” being more than a buzzword.
Yet here we are: 2Z trading at $0.53501, a 40% tumble from its all-time high. The token’s price chart? A rollercoaster with no brakes, piloted by a blindfolded bear 🐻📉.
The Tragi-Comedy of Tokenomics, or How to Alienate a Community in Three Easy Steps
Oh, the tokenomics! A circus of vested interests 🤡 where VCs feasted like crows on a carcass, leaving crumbs for the peasants. Total supply: 10 billion tokens. Distribution: 29% to the Foundation (read: “We’ll take that”), 28% to Jump Crypto (of course), and 14% to Malbec Labs (who? Exactly). The community? A resounding *crickets* 🦗.
“Only the insiders were allocated tokens!” cried a lone voice on X, echoing through the digital void like a sob in a church. 🗣️
Arkham’s data revealed Jump Crypto’s $42.8 million stash-$20.9M already deposited to exchanges. Suspicious sell-offs? Perish the thought! 🙄💸 Meanwhile, the circulating supply at launch-3.47 billion!-dwarfed the promised 700 million. Where did the extra tokens come from? A magic hat? 🎩🐇
So, while the SEC’s letter may be a win for regulation, the real drama is the token’s Titanic-like plunge 🚢💔. Concentrated supply, phantom tokens, and a community howling into the void-DoubleZero’s tale is less “blockchain revolution” and more “comedy of errors.” 🎭
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2025-10-03 12:35